Her face felt hot. Some small part of Tabitha wondered if she was a hypocrite. She had enjoyed sneaking around dark places with Cassius and had delighted in it even, but the thought that he might have engaged in such behaviour with another young lady made her feel as if her heart were shattered into a thousand pieces.
“No,” Cassius said. “I have not done anything like this with anyone. Why do you doubt me?”
Tabitha shook her head. A strange numbness settled over her. She still did not believe him. “I am sorry,” she said, “but I—I need to think.”
She bolted for the door, just as it opened. Tabitha drew in a sharp breath of air as she stared into her mother’s wide blue eyes. “Tabitha!” her mother exclaimed.
Tabitha halted, trapped and caught entirely unaware. “I—I can explain,” Tabitha stammered.
But how could she? Her mother had just found her in a dark room with Cassius, and although Tabitha had straightened her dress as best as she could, she still suspected that it looked a little as if she had been doing something untoward.
Cassius cleared his throat. “I can assure you that nothing disgraceful occurred, Lady Mayhew.”
“And I am sure you are aware of how this appears,” Tabitha’s mother said.
“Nothing happened,” Tabitha said quickly, her stomach lurching so violently that she feared she might be ill. “There is no need to tell anyone about what has transpired. This was all just a misunderstanding, was it not?”
Tabitha’s mother, Lady Mayhew, gazed at her daughter with an unreadable expression. “I suppose it was.”
Chapter 1
This room belonged to the Duke of Hillsburgh, meaning it was far too late for Tabitha to flee. For a blissful moment, though, she imagined it. She could rise to her feet, scream with reckless abandon, and run from this magnificent townhouse.
That would certainly be a scandal, likely resulting in both of her long-suffering parents sending her to the country for a very long time. Perhaps that would be preferable, but Tabitha knew she could not hide away forever. Ladies of her status could not lead a single life hidden from the world.
Tabitha fidgeted with her gloves, picking at a loose thread near her fingertip. It was unwise to pick at her gloves, but Tabitha supposed it was preferable to fidgeting with her nails. She had the most dreadful habit of picking at loose skin with her nails and picking and pulling until she made herself bleed. It was not a habit that suited a young lady at all.
But then, young ladies do not act as I do.
That disgraceful night with Cassius still burned like a fire within her. It seemed impossible that it had only been two weeks since that terrible event. Tabitha felt like those few minutes had changed her life forever.
Tabitha’s mother sat on the settee beside her and placed a hand over her daughter’s. “Tabby Cat,” she said. “Calm yourself. You act as if you have never had a suitor before.”
Tabitha winced. Her mother was right; Tabitha had many suitors before. Often, those visits began with her mother, her father, and herself seated in the parlour together and waiting.
Her most recent suitor had been Cassius, and even though she knew that she ought to detest him—for making her uncomfortable, for seemingly dishonouring another young woman, for lying, for not even offering to hasten their wedding after that night together to stave away further scandal, and for fleeing to the country the very next morning after that terrible night—she found that she could not. Tabitha was too kind or weak and could not determine which it was.
“I apologize, Mother,” Tabitha said. “You are right.”
“You must be on your best behaviour,” Lady Mayhew said, her voice softening with sympathy. “We need to please His Grace.”
“I know.”
Tabitha forced a smile. It would be practice for meeting His Grace. This mess was one of her own making. Even though no one had yet spoken about the terrible night, Lord and Lady Mayhew had both noted that Cassius could still say something and if he did, Tabitha’s reputation would be in tatters.
It was for the best that she wed quickly before Cassius told anyone. Once Tabitha was wed, she would not need to worry about how to find a husband, and it would matter significantly less what Cassius might say.
Still, it was humiliating being sold off to the highest bidder and forced into such a quick engagement with a stranger. It was impossible not to feel like an animal being sold at the market, even if the potential buyer was a duke with a large estate in the country, a townhouse in London, and the most tastefully furnished rooms she had ever seen in her life.
She wondered if they were decorated to suit his tastes or those of his mother, the Dowager Duchess of Hillsburgh, who was said to be a woman with impeccable aesthetic tastes.
“Well,” Lord Mayhew, her father, said. “You do still have the chance to refuse him.”
Tabitha glanced at her father. He said that. Perhaps he even meant it. Still, Tabitha knew that there were risks to remaining unwed, and she did not foresee Cassius doing the honourable thing and marrying her. She did not know she would accept such a proposal even if he had been willing. He had claimed that he loved her more than any other woman and had never felt such strong affection for anyone else, and yet when found in the parlour with her, it was not she who was his expected companion, but Lady Victoria.
“His Grace is a respectable suitor,” Lady Mayhew said.
“Indeed,” Lord Mayhew replied, casting his wife a stern look over Tabitha’s head. “However, it is also said that he is a cold man, and Tabitha has always desired a love match.”
