“I have never seen such a beautiful bride,” Bridgette sighed happily. “Look at you! His Grace will be unable to keep his eyes off you.”
Tabitha gazed at her reflection in the mirror. Her blonde ringlets were pulled up carefully and embellished with tiny pearls and pink blossoms. The gown was a work of beauty. It was white and covered in white lace flowers and ivy. She did look beautiful. Tabitha looked precisely like a bride who was soon to be a duchess. It was strange to see herself looking like that, so unusually beautiful, and for marriage to a man she had known less than three weeks.
“I thought it would be …” Tabitha trailed off.
“Yes?”
“With Cassius,” Tabitha said, sighing. “I imagined myself looking like this for him and beaming with happiness as I thought of our future together.”
Bridgette’s smile faltered. “Oh, Tabby, I am so sorry. Truly.”
“So am I,” Tabitha replied. “But His Grace is not an unkind man. He will be a good husband.”
At least, His Grace seemed like he would give her the freedom to do as she wished as long as she gave him an heir. That was more than some ladies could hope for. He had also promised they could try being friends, probably the closest Tabitha would ever allow herself to get to love. They would be the dearest of friends with an unconventional activity each morning. There were worse fates.
The door opened, and Tabitha’s mother entered. Tabitha saw Lady Mayhew’s face in the mirror. Her expression was soft and fond, and Tabitha felt a lump rise in her throat.
“May I speak to Tabby Cat alone?” she asked.
“Of course,” Bridgette said, giving Tabitha’s shoulder a fond pat. “Congratulations.”
Tabitha smiled. Her friend left the room, and Tabitha’s mother wrapped her arms around her shoulders. “I am so proud of you. I hope you know that.”
Tabitha’s breath shuddered inside her chest. “I am glad,” she said. “Thank you for letting me make everything right again.”
Her mother sighed. “I do wish that the world was different. I know you wanted a love match, and I am sorry that you could not wed Lord Fatherton.”
“So am I.”
“But His Grace is a smart match,” her mother continued. “You have saved your reputation and managed an advantageous marriage.”
“Due in no small part to you,” Tabitha said.
“Her Grace and I have been friends for a long time,” she said. “That is all.”
“Thank you, nevertheless. You did not have to help me.”
“Of course I did,” her mother murmured. “You are my daughter. My strong, independent daughter.”
A wave of affection came over Tabitha all at once. “I learned from my strong, independent mother.”
“Well, your strong, independent mother wants to offer you some advice,” Lady Mayhew said.
“About?”
Her mother looked vaguely uncomfortable, but she rallied quickly. Lady Mayhew squared her shoulders and fixed Tabitha with a determined expression. “The wedding night.”
Tabitha laughed, anxiety bubbling up from her belly and through her chest. “Oh? And did your mother tell you what to expect on your wedding night?”
“No,” said Lady Mayhew, “but I wish she had. If my mother had told me what the wedding night would entail, I imagine it would have been far more pleasant.”
“Was it unpleasant?”
Lady Mayhew paused, seeming to consider something for a long moment. Tabitha felt heat rise to her face, though she was not quite sure why. She supposed that she ought to be charmed by her mother trying to educate her on the topic, but somehow, the whole conversation felt terribly awkward. “It hurt,” her mother said at last, “but only a little. If the man moves slowly and is very gentle, it is only a little pain. It can become pleasurable very quickly.”
Tabitha turned around and placed her back against the mirror. She remembered that night with Cassius, where he had climbed over her atop the settee. They had started something that night, which might have ended in an amorous congress.
She remembered his hands on her shoulders and imagined instead that it was His Grace’s fingers brushing against her bare skin and undressing her in the darkness. The sensations that swept through her that night had not been painful per se, but they had been just as conflicting. She had both wanted and not wanted him all at once.
