As I’m loading the groceries into the non-existent trunk of my clown car, a man and a woman approach me. They’re both wearing casual clothes and don’t seem to be carrying any pamphlets or clipboards, so they’re unlikely to be salesmen or people of faith. Perhaps lost tourists? I’m normally quite a friendly person who tries to be helpful, as evidenced by thealien sleeping on my couch, but right now, I’m too agitated after my conversation with Caleb and I just want to go home, so I only give them a polite smile. “Visitor info is downtown, if you’re looking for directions. If you’re selling anything, I’m not interested, and I’m not religious, so…”
The woman smiles. It’s a natural, friendly smile, yet for some reason, it raises the hair on the back of my neck. “We’re not here to talk about matters of faith, I’m afraid, Ms. Young.” That uneasy feeling intensifies. They know my name. Why do they know my name? “We would just like to ask you a few questions,” the woman continues. “I’m Colonel Andrea Lewis, United States Air Force.”
She flashes me her photo I.D. and the name she just gave me on it, along with some important-looking words. Dread pools in my stomach. The military. I can only think of one reason they would want to talk to me. I try to play it cool, though. “Well, ask away. But make it quick. I’ve got a bucket of ice cream here that’s about to start melting in this heat.”
“I understand.” Lewis’ mouth is still curved into a smile but her eyes are definitely not smiling. The man next to her is watching me like I’m a bug he wants to squash. Fuck. They can’t just kidnap me from the parking lot, right? “Last Sunday, you were traveling the I-15 between Barstow and Baker, right?”
Fucking fuck. “How would you know that?” I ask, not without hostility.
“Two gas stations on that route recorded your license plate. Don’t worry, you’re not in any trouble. We just want to know if you saw anything strange while traveling. Strange lights, falling objects…?”
Play dumb. I need to play dumb. If only I wasn’t such a nervous liar. “Are you asking me if I saw a UFO, Colonel?” I bark out a laugh. “Is this some kind of joke? Is there a hidden camera somewhere?”
“You’re awfully nervous for someone who has nothing to hide,” the man, whom Lewis didn’t bother introducing, notes.
“Well, maybe because I’m a lone woman being accosted by two creepy strangers in a parking lot?! How do I know that the ID you just showed me is real? I could print a card like that at home. I’ll tell you what I saw on I-15. A big, fat nothing. A lot of sand and rocks. A few tumbleweeds. It was a long, boring drive, especially because my friend ditched me to fuck some chick in a Lara Croft costume, and I had to drive all the way home by myself. I saw no flying objects or strange lights. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m taking this ice cream to the freezer before it melts.”
They step back as I slam the trunk closed and stomp over to the driver’s seat. They don’t try to stop me, but I feel their eyes burning into my back as I leave the parking lot. Fucking fuck.
Blindly searching my purse for my phone, I redial last called number. “Caleb?” I ask before he can say anything. “Do you still have that costume from the Good Omens con? The one with the wings?”
“Um, yeah?”
“Bring it over. Discreetly. I have a feeling we might need it.”
Chapter 21
Fin
ImaniandOmni’ssolemnlooks match my own as I enter the apartment, but I barely notice, still riled from the parking lot meeting. The government knows something is up and it’s only a matter of time before they find Omni and…do something terrible to him. Fuck. “Houston, we have a problem,” I announce as I drop the groceries on the table.
“Yeah, we do,” Imani replies, exchanging worried glances with Omni, who hurries over to help put the groceries away. Of course, the ice cream is almost melted. Fucking Air Force.
“I just met—” I start, then Imani’s words register. “Wait, how do you know? Have they been here too?” If they know my name, I’m sure they can easily find my address, too, but Omni wouldn’t still be here if they came here, would he?
Frowning, she takes the bucket of ice cream from my hands and sets it on the table. “Who? What are you talking about?”
I grab a few spoons, and we gather round the table. Omni’s eyes flutter closed in bliss resembling his O face as he tries the ice cream for the first time. “Damn. This is good.”
“Yeah, but that’s like the only good thing I bring. Two fucking United States Air Force people just approached me in the supermarket parking lot, asking if I saw something suspicious last Sunday. They didn’t seem convinced when I told them I didn’t.”
“Fuck.” Imani rubs the bridge of her nose before scooping up a huge spoonful of ice cream. “That complicates things even further.”
“Even further?” I slide the bucket closer to me and dig in as well. I should have bought two. This conversation sounds like it will require a lot more ice cream than we have. “What happened?”
Another worried glance exchange between them has me on edge. For the briefest moment, I contemplate if Omni made another no-strings-attached deal with Imani, but I chase the thought away, stomping on the ugly jealous monster’s head until it dies. Neither of them would do that. Besides, they look way too serious to be concerned about sexual relations. “What happened?” I repeat.
“We tried contacting the space police,” Imani says.
“What?!” I stare at her, then at Omni. “I thought we were trying to avoid getting you arrested!”
With a sigh, Omni slides the ice cream to his side of the table. “There is not enough time. We need to save humans.”
Imani nods. “What your alien boyfriend here is trying to say is that he knows jack shit about spaceship engine construction and what kind of special radiation they supposedly give off, aside from the fact that it exists. Added to that, the fact that we literally speak different languages and think in terms of completely different science… It will take days or weeks before we can even start looking for that ship. When that became obvious, Omni got worried we’d be too late to stop the bad guys from kidnapping humans and leaving Earth, so we tried to send a message to the ships supposedly protecting Earth.”
“B-but…” My eyes fill with tears as I look at Omni. Will I lose him even sooner than I thought I would?
“Fin,” Imani says firmly. “The important part of what I said is that wetriedcontacting them. Bouncing a signal through the satellites is much easier than completely reprogramming them to scan for something they’re not supposed to in a place they’re not supposed to be looking at. The problem is, we didn’t get an answer.”
