Freddie quirks an eyebrow, his lips curving into that infuriating smirk. “Sounds like someone’s been thinking about me.”
I sputter, my face heating up. “I—what? No! I mean, not like that.” He keeps looking at me, and in my panic, I blurt out, “Pal.”
Pal? PAL?
Troy, apparently done with his strange routine of staring at the volleyball team, spins his chair around. “So what’s the plan for this weekend? Please tell me we’re doing something other than watching Ethan strike out with every woman on campus.”
“Um, hello?” Tara waves her hands at him. “We’re going home this weekend. Mom’s birthday?”
“Oh shit, right!” Troy’s face lights up. “I need to start the cookies tonight. You know how Mom gets if I don’t bring enough.”
Something warm and kind of achy spreads through my chest watching them. For all their bickering, there’s something so sweet about Troy, campus heartthrob, getting excited about baking cookies for his mom.
Troy reaches for a piece of sushi.
“Hey!” Tara swats at his hand. “Hands off! Just because you’re having a cookie crisis doesn’t mean you get my lunch.”
“I’m helping you! If you eat all this, you’re gonna feel sick,” Troy argues.
Freddie turns to me, those ridiculous hazel eyes sparkling under the fluorescent cafeteria lights. “I’ve got a shift at the gym Saturday, plus some personal training clients, but I was thinking maybe a late-night study session after? That Environmental Ethics midterm is going to kill me if I don’t start prepping.”
My roommate Piper’s voice echoes in my head—something about a party at the Alpha Phi house. I should probably go. Make new friends. Be social. Stop spending every weekend buried in books with Freddie.
But then he does that thing where he runs his hand through his hair, and suddenly, I can’t remember a single reason why I’d want to be anywhere else.
“Yeah, I’m free,” I lie.
FREDDIE
THEN – SOPHOMORE YEAR – JANUARY
“One soy milk cappuccino, two brown sugars, and an Americano please,” I order for both of us, leaning against the counter. Lexie isn’t here yet, but I know her order by heart. It’s become a habit, these Tuesday and Thursday meetups.
Christmas break came and went like a blur. I barely went home at all, using the extra gym shifts as an excuse. Not that it was a total lie—I did pick up every hour they’d give me. But the truth is, I couldn’t handle more than a few days in that house.
The silence was worse than any screaming match—Dad drugged up and sleeping, Mom’s fake cheerful voice, Megan tiptoeing around like the floor might shatter. Even the damn Christmas tree looked depressed.
So, I did what I do best: I ran. Back to campus, back to mindless gym routines, back to anything that wasn’t watching my family crumble while I stood there like a useless kid.
I scan the café, landing on our usual spot. It’s weird how this became a thing—me actually looking forward to study sessions.The guys give me endless shit about it, especially since Lexie and Tara started coming to our “family dinners.”
I’ve had girl friends before. Despite what Ethan thinks, I don’t need to sleep with everyone in a skirt. But Lexie? She’s different. She’s become my favorite person to mess with, to argue with, to just... be around.
These days, I catch myself making up the lamest excuses just to see her.Hey, want to debate climate change? Hey, did you see this stupid meme about recycling? Hey, can I call you? I just finished Emily in Paris and we need to talk about it.
My phone buzzes. Brianna.
Hey Fred, dance at 5, then I’m free.
I stare at the message, feeling nothing but tired. She’s hot, sure. Great body, always down for a good time. But lately? The whole routine feels hollow.
Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?
Maybe she’ll surprise me. Maybe we’ll actually talk about something real. But who am I kidding? It’ll be the same script we always follow—drinks, sex, no emotional morning after.
Ethan jokes that I could convince a nun to sleep with me, but lately? I’m over it. The endless parade of meaningless hookups, the fake morning-after conversations, the names I can barely remember.
Bri mentioned she might be up for something more regular, still without strings attached. But do I want that with her? I know she’s into Alfie anyway, and it’s not like either of us has been faithful to each other while we’ve been sleeping together.
