“That must have been a lot, then,” says my mom wryly.
We next see the library.Maddie immediately finds the photo of me at twelve, awkwardly holding up my math medal.
“He’s very good at math,” my mom says.“He could have a stable career in accounting or something else math related.”
My mom’s back at it.
Christy glances out the window, and gestures for us to look out too.“The snow is coming down thick and heavy now.They’re expecting several inches.”
“You guys should stay the night.The roads might be icy and slippery,” my mom says.“And it’s not that often that I get to see you.”
But that would mean we’re sharing a room.And a bed.My mom doesn’t have any rooms with twin beds.
My mom looks out the window.“It’s already several inches deep.It looks like it’s going to be hard to drive with limited visibility.I won’t sleep if you go.”
How am I going to sleep if we stay?
Chapter eighteen
Maddie
Nickseemsreluctanttostay, and I can’t tell if that’s because of his relationship with his mom or some other reason.I can’t read him.Am I supposed to say I need to get home or that I’m okay with spending the night?Icy roads make me nervous as well.I vote to stay.
We retreat downstairs to the living room, and his mom stokes up the flames in the fireplace.The living room has one large couch with two comfortable-looking armchairs and a huge flat screen TV.On the back wall is a bookcase filled with DVDs.
I offer to help make dinner with his mom, but Nick says that he and his mom like cooking together, and I should keep working on my article.I give Nick and his mom some alone time and retreat to their library to work on my latest article.But my thoughts keep flashing back to Nick.“I support his dreams, like he supports mine.”How could I say something so corny?I hide my head in my hands.That probably convinced his mom that our dating is a publicity stunt now.Except that then we’d have a better script, and it wouldn’t be me saying sappy things like that.
I had looked into Nick’s eyes at that moment and thought,Am I the only one feeling this connection?Am I out here by myself, living in my own fantasyland?It was the same when we had dinner at Ciel and the night we went dancing.I’m falling so hard, and I don’t know how to stop liking him.
I sigh.That slight blush that stained his cheeks when I said that he was fit… It made my heart flutter.
Then I think about his mom, which makes me think of his dad.Did his dad even try to be a father?Or did he disappear immediately?Is that why his mom is bitter?
Or did his dad change over time?Won’t Nick change at some point?He’ll no longer blush when a woman checks him out.He’ll expect it.
This isn’t real,I remind myself.
But why did he want me to meet his mom?Why didn’t he say he was busy?Or that I was busy?
He said he can’t say no when his mom asks.But he can lie to her about us.
It’s definitely complicated.It’s wrong to lie to his mom.But the way his face fell when she went back to wishing he was an accountant… It’s like when my mom says, “Are you sure you don’t want to join us working here?I created this cookie business for both of you guys.”
And wouldn’t I worry about losing him if we were dating?I should be working on quelling these feelings, not trying to figure out if they’re real.We can’t date.Every time he hugs another woman, there will be rumors that he’s moved on from me—after all, what did he see in me in the first place?I’ve seen some of the comments about me.
I will have to ignore the whispers behind my back—poor Maddie, she’s being cheated on.And even though I know Nick would never cheat—well, today’s Nick—what if his mom is right and fame changes someone?But even if he didn’t ever cheat, others would think that I was deceiving myself and holding on to some relationship mirage, even if it wasn’t fake.
But maybe it would be worth it.Because when Nick and I hang out, he’s Nick—notTheNick Devlin, rock star.
I sigh.I really need to focus and write this article.But he’s still invading my thoughts.It makes sense.He’s a rock star—objectively hot.It would be ridiculous if I weren’t affected by being this close to him, even if we’re just supposed to be friends.Even if I should be used to him.
In incognito mode, I check out Ward’s Instagram page.My breath catches.Every two weeks, he has a post with a miniature library scene.I compare the last two photos to see if any differences pop out.
Yes, the sign announcing the book club changes every two weeks.And the location… The location is St Agnes.And two weeks ago, the location was the Mid-Manhattan Library.A shiver goes through me.Those are the names of library branches around New York City.Is he meeting someone at St.Agnes tomorrow?Is this my break?Is this when they exchange the money?But meeting in person seems risky.
I check the post for any other clues.The doll is reading a different book each week.A month ago, she was readingRescuedby Ellen Gilman.But she’s not reading any book this week.TheCaper Crushbookmark!Are they hiding the money in books?Is that why Pommer said, “Those books add up”?Ward received a book with a bookmark.Did that signal that the money would be inCaper Crush?
I’ve got it!My first big break!I can catch him tomorrow if my theory is right!I jump up and down.Yes!
