I swallow down the pain of that statement, the lie that comes from the curse she doesn’t know about. But I love her as much as I know how, and it’s fucking terrifying.
“I love you, Micha,” I say again as I squeeze her hand. My other hand shakes as I hold up the ring. “So will you please marry me?”
There is a long moment of silence as she stares at me with wet eyes. Her cheeks are dry though. Her lips wobble even as they stay tightly pursed.
My heart hammers in my chest, hitting my lungs hard enough to bruise, to knock the wind out of them so I can’t breathe.
And then...
Without a word, she walks away.
Shattering me into pieces.
Thirty-Eight
HER
He’s on me before I get to the door. Grabbing my hips, he throws me into the air with a twist of his arms. It forces me into a spin, and as I fall, now facing him, his hands land on my hips again. With a burst of speed, he arrives at the wall, crowding me in with his body, wrapping my legs around his waist. Grabbing my wand, he yanks it out of my hand. My heart slams wildly as he swivels it around so he’s holding the handle.
“If you think I will give up after one rejection,” he growls, “you are mistaken. I told you you are mine, Micha. I didn’t mean that only when you love me back, when you are at your best. You are mine when you hate me, when you stab me in the heart, when you fucking rip it out with your rejection.
“And I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you. So I’m going to ask you again. Will you marry me?”
“Fine, then yes,” I snap just to get him to let me go. I’m mad as all hel.
His jaw locks, so I know he heard the sarcasm in those three little words. Leaning in, my back coming off the wall, I sneer, “But I will never marry you out of love. I will never choose to be your wife. I will say, ‘I do,’ only because you purchased me. So I hope you know that every day you have me is just a fucking lie.”
I lean back against the wall, holding his gaze and hoping he’s suffering. Because he’s asking me to be his while still smelling like that fuckingbitch.
And I know it is all in my head. He had four showers the first day he fucked her and two every day since. There’s no way I can actually smell her, but he’s forever tainted to me. I can still imagine his cock thrusting inside her and his lips on her nipples as he moans, “That’s it, baby. Fuck…you feel so good. Fuck me just like that.”
And I know I might have given him permission to fuck her when I was hurting and didn’t want us to be together, but hedidit. He took what we had, all the first moments, the fact that we were each other’s onlys, and he went and fucked her. He fucked her because he wanted to.
So no, Varius will never be myonlyanymore.
Even if I have his ring on my finger, I will smell her on him for the rest of my life. Especially since she is living in our godsdamn house, sitting at our godsdamn table, and smiling like she can still feel my husband’s godsdamn cock as he came inside her.
So fuck him.
And fuck that bitch.
He never even apologized for doing it. And I can’t help but think, is that because Varius doesn’t see it as an issue? He is a Boss, and Bosses have mistresses. And the idea that he’s planning on fucking all the hoes who throw themselves at him is making me feral. If I ever find one in our bed, I’ll burn the entire house down, starting with the mattress with her tied to it.
So yeah, I’m going to make him suffer just as much as I am.
“Good,” he snaps.
I blink. Then narrow my eyes at him. “What do you mean ‘good?’”
“You will be with me every day, so I accept your yes.”
My mouth drops open as I sputter, completely caught off guard.
“We’ll marry tomorrow evening,” he says.
“I was joking,” I snap.
“I don’t care. I want to be married to you, Micha. I want everyone to know you are mine. I wantyouto know, so I’m going to accept your yes, and if you hate me for it, I will simply beg for your forgiveness later. I can add it to the list of all the other shit I’ve done.”
