He smirked back. “I told you.”
With that we moved into our next pose, and the wobbling started once more.
Minutes passed, and soon I was sweating in places I didn’t know were possible. My entire body shook with strain, strands of hair plastered to my face. I struggled to focus on the spiritual meaning behind each pose as Enso explained them, but it didn’t help that every bit of sinew and bone in me was crying for help. Not to mention hekeptsmackingme.
I was curled over, hands and feet on the ground, my rear in the air when I heard the beating of wings and a brief, blissful wind brushed over me. Roman appeared in front of me in a flurry, small down feathers dancing about him. I arched my head to meet his glistening, panic-struck eyes.
“I woke up, and you weren’t there. I thought—” he ran a hand through his hair and released a shuddering breath.
Dread seeped through me, and I scrambled upright. “I’m sorry, Roman, I thought you would see my note?—”
“—you couldn’t just wake me up?!” He barked, walking toward me with rapid strides. His hands clutched my shoulders and yanked me to him.
“Gods, Estrella I thought I lost you again. You can’t do that, I can’t—I can’t handle it.” He shuddered and buried his face into my hair. His fingers shook as they ran over my back.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think.” I hadn’t—hadn’t thought about what sort of panic my absence would cause him. I never meant to do that to him. I sunk into his grip. It was hard to look past all my jagged pieces to remember that he was cracked too.
Enso coughed behind us. “Roman, you know what happens to those who interrupt my training sessions.”
Roman lifted his head from mine but didn’t let go. I couldn’t see it, but I was sure he was glaring at the war general. Then he dipped to meet my gaze, his eyes wide and questioning. “Training?”
I tensed, ready for an argument I wasn’t willing to lose. “I want to learn to fight. I can’t be helpless anymore. I don’t want to rely on you to protect me.”
His eyes softened. “Why didn’t you ask me to train you?”
“Because I’m a better trainer,” Enso called. I shot an incredulousglare at the general, at which he smirked. “Her words, not mine.”
Roman looked at me, then at Enso. He straightened. “She must just be misinformed.”
Enso laughed. “I have three centuries on you, child.”
“And yet, I’m the better fighter,” Roman purred.
Enso snorted. “Get in position, Tsarling, before I torch your ass.”
Roman smirked but gave me one last look. Something akin to pain glistened in his eyes. “I support you in anything that makes you feel strong. I just wish you had trusted I would.”
My gut twisted. I had assumed he cared more about keeping me safe than letting me be free, but I should have known better. He was protective but had always trusted me and defended my right to choose. He stepped away from me, but I grabbed his hand and squeezed, hoping he understood.
Enso stood in front of us, displaying the next position with practiced ease. I lifted my foot and pressed it to my inner thigh, wobbling but refusing to fall over. A chilled hand touched my hip, stabilizing me with just the breath of a touch.
“Let your body do the work, little warrior,” Roman murmured.
He stepped back to his spot beside me, and just like that, with my tsar at my side and the eternal general of war in front of me, my battle training had begun.
Chapter 40
ESTRELLA
Roman,
We have arrived in Molvon, and our worst fears have been confirmed. The Javali have turned. The ports are at a standstill, and captains have been executed. Codran and his ilk are here as well. It is time.
Razvan
Enso read over the letter that Roman had received just that morning, his chiseled jaw flexing as his free hand clenched and unclenched against the war room table. It was urgent enough that an employee had delivered it directly to our room before the sun had fully risen. Roman’s eyes had been half-open, his voice raspy with the remnants of sleep still clinging to us both. But that state was short-lived when the words spilled from the page like a living thing, crawling to poison us. He made no effort to stop me from reading it as I curled against him, so my shock mirrored his own.
I had hoped for a calm morning. We had both been so busy, nearly running ourselves ragged in preparation for this very moment. Roman’s generals demanded his attention every second. The BursucHouse had been the major supplier of wyne in the region, and their disappearance had left a gaping void in the industry. Roman’s and Catina’s bickering over supply chain alternatives echoed through the castle for most of the morning until Enso finally managed to grab his attention for battle preparations. Then Isabella wrangled whatever energy he had left after dinner.
