She was right, after all. I chose this; I might as well accept the consequences. Anything was better than staying here, even if it meantliving the rest of my life without the only solace I had. I crawled across the little gap between our beds and curled up next to her. We weren’t supposed to show affection for one another—just one more way to isolate us—but Solaris didn’t seem to mind. Instead, she tucked in next to me, her golden curls tickling my cheek.
Chapter 3
ESTRELLA
Matei woke me before the sun had risen to begin my training as the tsar’s acolyte. I followed him to his office and took my seat, trying to hold back my breakfast. Enduring Matei’s scolding was hard enough, spending the entire day with him in class felt like an insurmountable challenge.
“As Tsar Roman has only recently ascended the throne and has yet to take an acolyte, we know little about his behavior. However, we do know that he deposed his father, Tsar Leonidas, rather abruptly.”
I hadn’t considered that. Since vampires are immortal, a new tsar can only ascend the throne if the current tsar abdicates or is killed. Usually, it’s the latter. My new master was a murderer. The ghostly remnants of those once-appreciated touches skittered across my skin, a chilling reminder that those hands belonged to a killer. A shiver ran up my spine.
“Because of this, I plan to prepare you for anything. You will give His Majesty no reason to return you, understand?”
I nodded. Once returned, we couldn’t be sold again, making us useless—and useless girls weren’t safe. My fingers twisted the hem of my dress to ground myself, but I couldn’t stop the nervous bounce starting in my foot.
“You will respond with a verbal ‘yes, sir.’”
“Yes, sir.” I didn’t dare mention that Roman had asked me not to address him that way.
“Better,” he snapped.
“Being the tsar’s acolyte means understanding the power structure of our world in depth. Thus, to review, each region is governed by one of the ten Vampire Houses, with vampires as members and humans as subjects. Some Houses are larger and more powerful than others, but they all answer to the tsar…”
My gaze drifted to the window over Matei’s shoulder. I doubted any of this would matter; the tsar wasn’t buying me to sit in on strategy meetings. The sky above the city was overcast, with spring not yet strong enough to banish winter’s chill. Outside of our brief visit to the tsar’s city home for the ball, I had never seen the city. I wondered what it was like—what being outside felt like.
“—repeat what I just said, acolyte.” Matei’s sharp bark jolted me from my daydream. In my surprise, I almost met his gaze but stopped myself. I didn’t need to see his expression to know he had caught me drifting.
“I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t hear you,” I whispered. My body tensed like a coiled spring as I awaited his reaction.
His fists clenched against the desk. “Look at me.”
I slowly lifted my head, ensnared by his eyes. They burned with a level of smugness and disdain that made my skin crawl. “I think you’re lacking motivation. Let me give it to you.”
“The tsar is a young ruler—the youngest we’ve ever seen—and his claim to the throne is unstable. He is under constant scrutiny by the counts and must watch his every step. He will demand perfection from you, as he cannot afford any less. If you fail or embarrass him, you’ll be lucky if he kills you. Because if he returns you to me, you’llwish he had. Do you understand?”
I fought against the quiver in my lip as dread weighed my chest and threatened to pull me under. Every moment of my life was monitored, every action scrutinized. Now it would be so much worse. “Yes, sir.”
“Good. Now, the tsar has a cabinet consisting of five generals, each managing a different specialty for the crown. This is similar to the counts, but they wield more power…”
The next day, and the day after that, I found myself in Matei’s office again. Our first two lessons focused on politics, as it wasn’t something we focused on in our primary education. After all, our masters weren’t purchasing us for our knowledge on current events, but Matei now deemed it crucial for my specialized lessons. Now we were onto reviewing etiquette, which felt like walking on shards of glass every second. Matei dissected each misstep, weaving threats into every correction.
The bottle of vampire wyne in my hand shook as I poured it. Coagulated blood glugged from the tip, making my nose wrinkle. A splash hit the teacup dish as I tilted the bottle upright. Matei bared his teeth.
“The tsar and his generals will not tolerate spilled blood. If you do not improve drastically in the next week, you shouldn’t bother unpacking your bags.”
I wastrying.Roman may have chosen me, but that didn’t mean I could meet his expectations. Nothing I did was ever good enough. One mistake could send me back to this hell, and then Matei would break me in every possible way.
Matei had kept me mostly isolated from the other girls, forcing me to endure every meal in his office to practice table etiquette and serving. By the time I was released, it was after dinner and well into the evening. I trudged back to the dormitory with my head down, havingspent so much time in that position that it now felt natural.
I paused in the foyer and looked at the front door. The stained-glass windows on either side let in the light of a nearly full moon. I willed myself to keep walking, to be a good girl and go to the dorms, but my body wouldn’t move. It was only a matter of time before Roman sent me back. I could see Matei’s hateful green eyes with each blink, those massive fists ready to hurt me. It was inevitable.
Unless I escaped.
If I got past the courtyard fence, I’d have a chance. I wasn’t sure what I would do or where I’d go, but anything was better than facing Matei’s wrath. The foyer was empty—now would be my best chance.
Heart pounding, I rushed to the door as quietly as I could. I twisted the golden knob, and the door creaked open. Icy wind whipped my hair back and fluttered my skirts. I took a deep breath and ran.
It was a challenge not to slip on the dismal cobblestones, dark against the night, but I kept moving forward. If I stopped, I would be worse than dead. I was halfway to the gate when a voice spoke from the shadows.
