1
I adjust my flimsy halo and sigh for the fifth time this minute, tucking myself further into the back seat of the car. Nobody pays me any attention.
Quinn’s focused on driving, tapping the steering wheel and screaming the lyrics to a rock song I don’t know at the top of his lungs. His girlfriend, Gigi, sits in the passenger seat, fixing her ghost makeup. I’m shoved into the corner beside my best friend, Val, and her boyfriend, trying not to notice their tongues stuck down each other’s throats.
Not that I can blame her. I’d be doing the same thing if my boyfriend were here.
Okay, ex-boyfriend.
In hindsight, I should have known that Jake and I wouldn’t work out. We met a few months ago at a college mixer and instantly hit it off, talking about God-knows-what before I gave him a blowjob in his dorm room. He was the first and only guy I ever sucked. Afterward, he instantly told me he was straight and that what we did was an accident, like he’d tripped and accidentally shoved his dick into my mouth.
There was more sex after that night, mostly hand and mouth stuff. Never anything too far, but I really thought we built a connection, you know? Whenever Jake wanted to get off, he’dcall me up. I thought that if I could show him how good a boyfriend I can be, he’d realize I’m the man of his dreams.
I was so sure Jake was The One and that all he needed was a little nudging.
Catching him balls-deep inside of a girl inmyapartment, inmybed, threw that dream in the trash. The worst part is I’d told him I loved him the night before. He said he’s never wanted anyone as much as he wanted me.
Joke's on me, I guess.
Now, I’m lonely and single on my favorite holiday of the year. How fucking sad is that?
Val catches my eye over her boyfriend’s head—Ryan, or Rider, or something—and has the grace to look sheepish. Their lips detach with a loud smack, and she flashes me a reassuring smile. Her black lipstick is smudged around her mouth.
“Stop thinking about him so much, Charlie,” she says, reaching for my hand. “That asshole is old news.”
“I know, I know. But as of right now, I’m still in mourning.”
“Don’t worry, babes, you’ll find your person soon.” What’s-his-name latches onto her throat and starts sucking, his hand dipping under her cheetah print mini skirt. Val giggles. “Riles, stop that. Can’t you see Charlie’s upset?”
I give her a watery smile. “It’s okay, Val, you deserve to have fun.”
“Aw, babes, don’t cry. Maybe one of the haunted guys in costume will sweep you off your feet. I mean, who doesn’t want to be fucked by a guy wearing vampire fangs?”
When she turns back to Riley, I force down the roaring jealousy that threatens to drown me. Val’s been my best friend since our freshman year at Denton U, one of the best schools in all of Massachusetts. She’s stuck with me through all four years, patiently listening to my many late-night rants about how badly I crave finding ‘The One’.
Which is like, really bad.
Since I was old enough to realize that I’m ragingly gay, I’ve wanted a soul mate. Someone who was made for me, who would love me unconditionally, and would let me love them back.
Jake was my first boyfriend, and I guess I thought, foolishly, that meant something.
Oh, God. I’m dying a virgin, aren’t I?
We pull into the parking lot of the Monster Maze a few self-pitying minutes later. Everyone piles out of the car, Val snug under Riley’s arm, Quinn tucking Gigi into his side. I’m left trailing behind them in a five-dollar angel costume that I’m pretty sure is meant for children.
I sniffle, my eyes prickling with unshed tears, and I wipe at them furiously.
I’m not jealous of my friends. I’mnot.
*
The Monster Maze is a Hallowe’en-themed corn maze that’s meant to have the best costumes and theming this side of Mass. We’re ushered through an elaborately decorated entrance by maze employees dressed in zombie costumes so good I know they cost more than my shitty part-time barista salary gets me.
Jake loves this kind of spooky stuff. If there’s any place that I’m likely to run into him, it’s here. Which, trust me, I’m trying to avoid at all costs.
I’d rather saw off my own arm than relive the sheer mortification of him calling things off inmyapartment with his new little girlfriend backing up his every word.
Darkness blankets the sky, but a sliver of moonlight illuminates the path deeper and deeper into the maze. Six-foot-tall cornstalks tower over us with long, drooping ears like reaching fingers.
