I realize I didn’t care about her the way a father should. My mind was muddled with drugs for years, clouding my judgment and making me incapable of being the father she needed. I was so focused on protecting her and the secret information I’d collected over the years that I didn’t give enough thought to our relationship.
Her mother just went along with whatever I wanted, like the obedient fearful housewife she’s always been.
Now, we’re both paying for the shit lives we’ve lived in the form of terminal illness.
Finding out I have pancreatic cancer at fifty-two makes me want to spend whatever time I have left in peace. But The Assembly won’t let me do that, and I can’t say I deserve anything less.
I know I can’t undo the harm I’ve caused, but I want to make amends in whatever ways I can—apologize. If I’m going to die anyway, I might as well try to escape now. If The Assembly decides to kill me, at least it would only shorten my life by a year or so.
I just need to tie up my loose ends, and on the top of that list is getting Quinn to trust me for five seconds. She’s deeper in this shit than she realizes, and I need her to understand just how far; how I’ve been using her as my little secret keeper all these years.
She’ll figure it out eventually, but I’d rather she hears it from me rather than when someone is digging it out of her with a fucking knife.
I feel mostly confident that no one knows the extremes I’ve gone to, the things I have done in order to obtain tangible evidence to hold over the society’s head. I knew I would need it if ever I found a reason to step away, and that time has finally come. But, there is an inkling in the back of my mind—I know the lengths they’d go to in order to find the information they now know I have.
Lengths I have gone to myself for other reasons.
My car sits under a dying light in the farthest, darkest corner of the garage. The flickering bulb above casts an eerie, intermittent glow on my vehicle. I unlock it and yank open the back door to toss my briefcase inside, just as the light gives its final flicker and dies. With a sigh, I close the door and reach for the handle on the driver's side, only to be violently yanked off myfeet before I can open it. The back of my head hits the concrete with a nauseating smack, leaving me dazed and disoriented.
My mind struggles to make sense of what's happening. Just as I begin to piece it together, kicks and blows rain down on me from every direction. There are too many feet to count, each one adding another wave of pain that blurs the edges of my vision. Panic sets in, sharp and suffocating, as I choke on my own blood, gasping for breath that won't come. I try to raise my arms to defend myself, but they are heavy and useless.
My fate was sealed the second I hinted at my desire to step down; to walk away from the one thing that casts a sick shadow over every part of my life. I should’ve known better, should’ve kept my mouth shut. But there’s never been anything more inevitable than this moment, and I was ignorant—stupid—for hoping otherwise. How could I have thought… How could I…
Everything fades—the pain, the panic—every thought slipping away as darkness closes in. My last thought is Quinn, and how I hope she’ll make it out of this intact.
2
A MASSIVE BALL OF FURRY DOOF
QUINN
3 Weeks later…
I feeleyes on me nearly every second of every day lately. I do not doubt that my newfound paranoia is nothing more than mere anxiety; my subconscious telling me I should care more about the death of my father.
I should, but I don’t.
The regrets he told me I’d have are nonexistent, and I am not sure what that says about me.
Anxiety is funny like that; you’ve decided you don’t care about something very much but the parts of your brain you can’t access and your central nervous system team up and give you a big ol’the fuck you don’tin the form of neurosis and heart palpitations.
Regardless, my days since his murder have been tinged with a lingering sadness that I have no control over, one that most definitely wasn’t present just three weeks prior. It’s an odd, disconcerting feeling, and it clings to me despite my best efforts to shake it off.
Our relationship was fraught with undercurrents of bitterness and tension on both our parts. He was my father, yes, but I can’t seem to summon any genuine grief about his death, aside from the persistent, unaccountable melancholy. Instead, my dominant emotion is one of relief—relief that the college managed to start classes on time despite the brutal beating and subsequent murder of the dean that had taken place on campus.
I need school because I love it, and because it’s the last obstacle standing between me and my trust fund. Even though he’s dead, his influence lingers—his stipulation that I have to graduate to get the money is still binding. The faster I get through it, the sooner I can put everything about him behind me. Every delay, every tragedy, feels like another barrier between me and the life I’m so close to starting, a life where I can finally have a place of my own for me and Kronk, and maybe even a better car than the clunker I currently drive. So I’m relieved, not just because classes are starting, but because the countdown to my freedom is still ticking.
The grounds don’t feel any more haunted than they have always felt despite this new cloud lingering over the usual bustle and energy of early September as everyone tries to move on from the shock of his murder.
Cypress sprawls across Hallow Ridge like a fortress, its vast campus dotted with ancient oak and pine trees that stretch high into the sky.
Hallow Ridge itself is a quaint town, just a few streets lined with shops and cafes. The real reason Cypress seems to dominate the landscape isn't that it's necessarilybigcompared to other universities, but because the rest of Hallow was built around the college.
Cypress was initially established to serve the children of wealthy families, many of whom had amassed their fortunes through questionable means. This environment created theperfect backdrop for the rise of The Assembly, an influential group that played a significant role in shaping the community’s development. As these affluent families settled in the area, it began to transform. Over time, the once barren surroundings evolved into a small but thriving town, bustling with activity and steadily growing around the college.
Every winding road seems to lead to some foreboding peak, and the students who come from larger cities tend to find the dense forests suffocating.
I love being hidden away from the rest of the world by the imposing mountain range that surrounds Hallow.
