“Kronk!Nech to!” Jack surprises me with the Czech command.
I can’t stop myself from smiling, and Kronk releases it immediately, sending Jack stumbling backwards a few steps before he regains his balance and very awkwardly chucks the toy into his bathroom and slams the door shut before my dog can chase after it.
“I’ll just—” I am tryingsohard not to laugh. I jerk my head toward the exit so Kronk will follow me. “Yeah.”
I duck out, closing the door behind me, and Kronk barrels down the staircase like a maniac, wearing a path in the hardwood on his way to the back door.
I am thankful to be outside for a minute because inside was… a lot.
I take only a moment to regain my composure because I need to grab Sienna, and I arrive at her bedroom door just in time for Jack to step into the hallway half-dressed, buttoning his pale blue dress shirt. He proceeds to roll up the sleeves at his forearms and I stand frozen because I need him to not do that.
His demeanor has completely shifted from mild embarrassment to complete nonchalance, so I guess we are going to ignore what just happened.
Fine by me.
For now.
I make a mental note to tease him about it later.
“Need something?” He is the picture of innocence but I feel as if there is an evil smirk hidden beneath the layer of ingenuousness etched on his face.
There is no way he doesn’t know what he does to me. He probably has this effect on everyone. Is he being extra hot on purpose? Because if so, that’s fucking rude.
“Nope.” The word comes out more strangled than I would like, and I am thankful for the feral scream that Sienna releases to let me know I’m taking too long.
My mood shifts when her sweet smiley face comes into view, and it’s easy for me to push the other thoughts aside. While she is the reason for our forced proximity, she is also a very good buffer.
I change and dress her, and by the time we make it to the kitchen for breakfast, Jack is nursing a steaming cup of coffee. Isuppress a groan and I’m not sure if it’s because of the smell of coffee or the fact that he hasn’t put his jacket on yet and I can see the outline of every muscle in his back when he turns away from me to grab his toast that’s just popped out of the toaster.
With Sienna resting on my hip, I turn away from him and head to the other side of the kitchen where her bottles and formula are. I mix one up quickly. As I wait for it to warm up, I sense Jack’s gaze on me from across the room, his eyes boring into my back as if reading my inappropriate thoughts.
Sienna twists her fingers in my hair and when I look down at her she’s smiling up at me like I’m the only other person who exists in the world. I kiss her forehead and gently pinch her chubby cheek. “I love you, pretty girl.”
I take her bottle from the warmer and pop it in her mouth. She accepts it greedily and when I finally turn to face Jack again, there is a softness in his expression that causes a fissure to open somewhere deep in the left side of my chest.
To be adored by a parent is not something I am familiar with, and regardless of my age, the longing has not lessened over the years. My thoughts go to my mother and how visiting her now might mend the broken parts of our relationship, but I remind myself that I was not the one who damaged it to begin with and it is not my responsibility to fix it, especially not simply because she’s on her death bed.
I will stick to the daily calls I make to her nurse.
Those are sterile. Manageable.
I need therapy.
I force a smile despite the tightness in my throat, and he clears his.
“Hey, are you feeling okay?” He walks toward me and rests the back of his hand against my forehead. “You’re flushed.”
Yeah, that happens when I feel like I could vomit. Usually when I think about either of my parents. Particularly lately.“Yeah, I’m fine.”
Sienna interprets this as playtime. She coos and smiles around the nipple of her bottle, milk dribbling from the corners of her mouth.
We are crowded against the counter, and I am thankful to have her between us. Jack’s presence is suffocating, his large frame filling the space, his nearness sucking out all the air. A familiar warmth crawls up my throat.
“Is it okay if I take Sienna out for lunch today? I thought it might be good for both of us to get out of the house for a bit.” I abruptly change the subject to the first thing that pops into my head and focus on feeding her to avoid his gaze.
He steps to the side to retrieve a travel mug from the cabinet next to my head and I hold in the sigh of relief that threatens to spill from my mouth. “Sure. I’ll leave my car for you.”
My face twists in confusion because he already installed a car seat in my car in case of emergencies. “Why would you do that? How will you get to work?”
