The ferocity in his voice was nothing like the degrading tone of her mother. It was different than the hunger he usually showed her. This was something new, something that sent chills through her body. Tears pricked her eyes and she dropped her head.
The mahr’s cool touch never left her, but he maneuvered to her side and coaxed her chin to face him. His shadows lowered until they were eye level and the compassion in his dark features astounded her.
“Let go of that shame. It is not necessary.” He leaned forward and licked a tear before it made its descent. “You are safe. Set that little girl free. She did the best she could. She kept you alive. Now let her go.”
His words shattered her. They didn’t sound much different than the things Dr. Ellis drilled into her, but somehow they were an entirely new revelation coming from him. Dr. Ellis had to say those things, no matter how true. But this demon, this creature from the dark who’d seen inside her head and watched her nightmares unfold, he had no reason to absolve her. No reason to remain by her side after witnessing the darkest corner of the ruins remaining of her memory palace. Yet here he was, for the second morning in a row, staying with her after safeguarding her dreams all night long.
The dam broke. All the tears she’d held inside, covered under the sound of blaring music or hidden by withholding sleep from her body, flooded her cheeks and made her shake. The mahr never broke their contact, until finally she was able to breathe again, her lungs becoming full as her mind was cleared, a weight of guilt lifted from where it had taken permanent hold on her psyche.
The afternoon’s light pierced through the blinds as she worked on the book cover. As time passed, the mahr’s shadowy edges slowly became less and less defined. She knew he would have to leave soon when he faded into the small butterfly and perched on her hand, his wings flickering like the wick of a candle.
“Tonight, wait until I am in your room. Then plug all the holes in your home,” he said, his soft voice coming from the little insect. “I’ll help you locate them. Then lie down, and when you feel me on your chest, sayTraeyr.”
“What’s Traeyr?”
“My name.”
The day passed slowly. A warm haze encompassed Addison’s unburdened mind. She almost felt lightheaded with all the freed-up space in her head, though she knew that would pass and that healing was not a one-and-done deal, but for once it felt like everything was going to work out. Even missing a day of work wasn’t upsetting her inner peace.
Taking a break from the cover, she checked her email to see a notification of a job listing from The Idea Initiative, a reputable design agency renowned for their work from web design to games, illustrations, and more.What the hell. Why not?She submitted her portfolio and even took the time to write an eloquent cover letter.
She tapped her finger on the golden cap of the small jar holding her dreams. It had been a while since she’d put anything new inside it, but the jar was a visual reminder that she was working toward something. She unscrewed it and poured the folded pieces of paper onto her desk. All the scraps said something that could be bought, like a house on the beach, a road trip vehicle, a nicer laptop. She plucked a notebook from the box at her feet and considered what she would write if she were being truly honest with herself.
Peaceful sleep.
Self-acceptance.
To feel safe.
A place to belong. A loving home.
Someone who thinks ofmeas their home.
Thanks to Traeyr, she was feeling closer to the first two. As for a loving home, she knew she would find that living with Marissa. But what would it be like to find a home in someone’s arms? Someone who felt the same safe, loving care in her caress? She’d spent so long locked in a relationship just because she was desperate to be needed. Despite that Dr. Ellis had helped debunk her desire to be useful by tracing it back to her childhood and growing up with an alcoholic caregiver, she still wanted to find someone who would call her embrace theirhome. To love and be loved, and all that.
A few minutes after completing Marissa’s witchy cover and sending the attachment, her phone lit up with Nasty Nathan’s ringtone.
“Hello?”
“Get your ass in here now!”
“Leah’s covering for me—”
“Leah’s fired, and you’re next if you don’t get here in the next twenty minutes! I swear to god!” The line clicked.
Addison’s heart sank. She would have to muddle her way through work and wouldn’t get home until late; Fridays were the busiest nights. Everyone had to work an extra hour, and if she got held up, it could be well past nine o’clock before she got home.
Don’t give up on me, Traeyr.
Chapter 17
Traeyr
The day sleepers were lucky Traeyr’s mind was elsewhere, his heart captured by his human, his thoughts held captive by the memory of her. Her scent, her sweet, sweet sap, her bright inner light; there was nothing he didn’t love about the womanAddison. He perused the neighborhood and adjoining rural areas, reminiscing on their time together and imbibing nightmares. He would be content to laze about in her room all day, to listen as she unburdened herself, to watch the light of her passion exude from her gaze as she worked on her artwork; but to do so required strength. There were other things he’d love to do with—and to—his human, but all of it required sustenance if he wanted to satisfy his dreamer.
Giving her his name was a risk. There were moments through the day that a dark part of his conscience nagged him. For centuries and centuries, he’d had one rule above all: he would not be bound by a human. But Addison wasn’t any human and though she had his name, she did not know the binding ritual that was capable of trapping him in her bedroom for life. Even if she did, she was nothing like the greedy farmer and his ugly wife, who only trapped him because they wanted to abuse him.
Would it be so bad to be trapped in her chambers?
