When we arrive, it takes every bit of control to mask my emotions. I wish I could tell him a thousand goodbyes, spending each one of my last seconds with him. But I’ve come to understand that the Fates are cruel. They’ve sentenced me tothis torture of being forced to say goodbye without actually saying anything at all. They’ve taken everything from me. My freedom, my mate, and my life.
I hug Azrael a little tighter, pressing my body to his so that everywhere I fit against him we meet. I close my eyes, savoring our closeness. His scent surrounds me, and I nuzzle against the crook of his neck. Breathing him in, I memorize his smell, and the way it settles all my nerves. My fingers curl into his shirt, anchoring myself to the only place that feels certain. The chaos beyond us fades, leaving only this—his warmth, his strength, and the quiet truth that I could stay here forever. He cups my face gently, and I lay my cheek against his hand for what just might be the last time. Goodbye is going to break me. I fight hard to keep it together.
Azrael sighs, his hands stroking down my back.
“What is it?” I ask.
“I can’t explain it,” he mutters.
Sensing his unease, I don’t press him. Instead, I rise on my toes and brush a quick, teasing kiss against his bottom lip. He laughs, and I tuck the sound away like a treasure.
When he smiles down at me, I smile back. I would do anything for him—even die for him. If my death means that he can go on living, I’ll make the sacrifice. I swallow the hard knot in my throat, dreading our final kiss. I don’t want it to be our last, yet I know it will be.
His soft lips meet mine, and I’m gone—completely lost in pure bliss as I kiss the boy who befriended me and the man I fell in love with goodbye. His tongue sweeps past mine as if some part of him is preparing, as if some part of him senses this might be the last time we’re together. His fingers tangle in my hair, tugging just enough to make me shiver. I love when he kisses me like this—deep, longing, as though he’s making up for all the moments we were forbidden from being together.
When he begins to pull away, I fist his shirt and draw him back, craving more. It can’t be time to let go. I run through everything I never want to forget—his scent, the heat of his body against mine, his laugh, the sound of his voice. My chest tightens as emotions threaten to spill over, and I force it back behind the walls I’ve built.
At last, I release him. Memories threaten to overwhelm me, so I shut them off, clearing my mind until it’s a blank slate. “Goodbye, Azrael,” I whisper.
“It’s not goodbye, my love,” he rasps, sweet as honey, “I’ll see you soon.”
I force myself to nod, holding myself together, arms crossing over my chest before I realize it. “Are you cold?” he asks, voice laced with concern.
“No, just nervous.” The lie flying easily off my lips.
“Mmm.” His eyes narrow slightly.
I drop my arms to my sides to prove I’m fine.
Azrael dips his chin so that our eyes meet one last time. I memorize the details—the deep blues, the wisps of black, the glittering flecks, and coal-dark pupils that pierce into my soul.
“I love you,” he says softly.
“I love you too. Always and forever. Thank you, Azrael. For saving me, and for loving me all this time.”
“Mercy, you’re my only light in this world. I will always save you.”
His words send a shiver through me. He smirks, presses one farewell kiss to my lips, then turns away, dissolving into a swirl of shadow.
Madame Zora opens the door to the enchanted boxcar, her voice a singsong invitation. “Come in, child. We have many things to discuss.”
***
We weave deep into the enchanted boxcar, hundreds of unspoken words passing between us. We each know what the other must do to carry out their respective roles in destiny. Zora glances over her shoulder with tear-filled eyes.I’m sorry,she mouths before turning her focus to our path.
We sweep past floor-to-ceiling shelves filled with ingredients and tinctures. Tarot cards lie abandoned on a table in the next room. Zora leads me deeper still, through the room where the crystal ball rests. It flickers as we pass—a final goodbye, perhaps. Finally, we step through a set of french doors into a greenhouse. Glass lines every wall and rises all the way to the ceiling, each pane framed in gold. I stare through them at the darkening world. Above us, the sky churns—dark and stormy, an omen of what’s to come.
Zora scurries down a row of plants in search of lilies. I can only watch in dread. My mother will be heartbroken if things don’t go as planned. What will she say? Where will she go?My heartbeat quickens, dread creeping in like an uninvited guest. I never thought about how this would affect her, and now I fear it’s too late to turn back. The only way out of this mess is forward.
Azrael will never forgive me for my sacrifice.How badly will this hurt him?Not enough to end him.I remind myself. It’s the only way for at least one of us to keep on living. As the prince, his role is far greater than mine. He has… prince things to do—though now I realize I don’t actually know what those are, or even where he was going tonight. When he returns, I’ll already be gone. I won’t get another goodbye. If I’d told him, he would have turned our story into a tragic romance before living a single day without me. I shudder to imagine what he might do when he finds out.
“I found them,” Zora says, breaking through my spiraling thoughts.
She notes their location, then moves to a workbench lined with tools and shelves. Donning a pair of gardening gloves, she grabsa carved wooden bowl, shears, and large tweezers. My heart pounds in my chest as she returns to the dreadful red lilies. I glance about for the comforting sight of marigolds, but there are none.
“Zora,” I say, my voice unsteady.
“Mmm,” she murmurs, focused on her task.
