Shock washes over her face. “Mercy, you know I could never—”
“You can, Mother. You just choose not to. Uncle would’ve taken us in years ago, but you’ve always been too proud. Well, I refuse. I won’t live this way. All you have to do is be brave enough to say yes.” I plead, reaching for her hand. “We could live comfortably, far away from the monster.”
I don’t tell her we’d still be living with a monster… because Azrael is nothing like the man pretending to be my father.
She falls quiet, and for the first time, I feel hopeful that she might say yes.
“I can’t stop you. That’s clear,” she says at last. “You have my blessing to go. I want to know you’re happy and safe—even if I never see you again.”
I beam. A small victory. But it’s not enough to satisfy me. “Come with me, Mother. You could see me every day for the rest of your life. If you stay—” I stop, struggling to say it aloud. “If you stay, he’ll kill you.”
She leans her head back in the chair, eyes closed.
“Then I’ll know my daughter escaped. That she’s loved. I know Azrael cares for you, and I know he intends to keep you safe. I can sacrifice myself to know you will never again suffer at his hands.” She sighs heavily, tears rolling down her cheeks.
I bite my lip, trying to hold back the ones welling in my own eyes. “But you don’t have to die. You can live on—to see your grandchildren, to start over. Why won’t you come with me?” I beg, exasperated by her stubbornness. “Don’t you love me enough to save yourself, Mother? Don’t you want to live?”
She reaches for my hand, stroking it gently, just like she used to when I was a child and she’d lie beside me, coaxing me to sleep. “My story may be over,” she says softly, “but yours is just beginning, my love.”
“No! I refuse to let you be complacent. I won’t sentence you to death. Don’t you see? I can’t live with that burden. Stop being stubborn. Save yourself—and come with me. If you won’t agree, I’m going to beg Azrael to bring you with force. I can’t—” The dam finally breaks. Tears stream freely down my cheeks in a flood I can no longer hold back.
“He already promised me.” I shout through the sobs. “It’s already done. He’s going to protect you too, and youarecoming with me. I won’t let him hurt you anymore.”
My mother purses her lips, frowning at me. “Then I suppose it’s decided. I’m going with you. Apparently, you’ve left me no other choice.”
I leap from the table and throw my arms around her neck, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “I promise you won’t regret this. Give him a chance, Mama—you’ll adore Azrael.”
A huge weight lifts from my shoulders. Knowing my mother is safe and coming with me is such a relief. It’s going to make walking away easier and so satisfying.
“Come help me with the vegetables,” she insists. “You can tell me more about him while we work.”
We fall into an easy rhythm—I peel while she chops. The quiet repetition soothes my nerves. I’ve talked her ear off about Azrael, hitting the highlights and leaving out the things I know she wouldn’t approve of. Eventually, I run out of things to say. Which means… it’s time to approach the topic of Miriam.
“Mother,” I begin, wiping my hands, “there’s one more thing I need your help with.”
“Oh?” She raises a brow.
“It’s important to me that I say goodbye to Miriam. I don’t know if it’s forever, or just for now, but I want her to know what I’m planning, so she can find me if she ever needs to. Please. I know I’m not allowed at the Market, and I know he probably has eyes on me, but Ihaveto see her.” I study her reaction, waiting for a reply.
“I understand. What if you dressed in my clothes and wore one of my oversized hats to cover your face? If you keep it brief, we might be able to pull it off tomorrow.”
My breath catches. “Mother, you’re brilliant. You’ll really let me say goodbye?”
“Yes, my sweet girl. I know what you mean to one another. Itwillbe good if someone knows where we’ve disappeared to.” She pauses. “And you’re certain she’ll keep our secret?”
“Yes. Miriam will keep our secret safe. I know she will.” I squeal with joy and pull her into another hug.
“Thank you!”
“I’ll be fast—there and back. By the time he finds out, we’ll be long gone.” I smile, hope swelling in my chest.
My mother smiles back at me. “We should start packing the old trunks. There’s a lot that’ll need to wait until the morning we leave, but we can be as prepared as possible.”
I nod. I don’t have much to bring with me. I can fit my entire life inside the old trunk under my bed. There’s nothing else here I want because I don’t want to remember my life in this prison. Soon, we’ll both be free. A peaceful calm settles over the house, and for the first time in a long while, I let myself believe—
This must be what hope feels like.
Chapter 30
