I splash my way closer to Miriam, dropping my voice low as I whisper, “I wish I could run away to the circus. There’s something between us. I finally know he feels it too.”
“What are you not telling me, cousin?” She pries, sensing there’s more to what I’m saying.
I glance at Tavien to make sure he’s not eavesdropping and find him thoroughly engrossed in his rock skipping.
“Well, something happened the other night,” I reveal, drawing out my big reveal with a grin.
“And what happened the other night?” Miriam asks, intrigued by the mystery.
“My father took us to the circus last week. He received free tickets at work. It was a strange bonus, but I got to watch him perform one of his best shows I’ve ever seen,” I swoon.
“Is that all?” Miriam asks, trying her best not to look disappointed.
“He kissed me after the show.” My words are laced with excitement.
Miriam clasps her hands over her mouth, covering up a quiet squeal. “Was it magical? Tell me it was magical!”
“It was everything I ever imagined it would be… until Father attacked him.”
“I’m sorry.” She hugs me. “But Mercy, he—” she pauses, looking at Tavien. “He actually kissed you. This is huge.”
I beam. “I know,” I squeal, choosing to keep what he said to me before he did a secret… for now.
I replay his words:There are things I can’t tell you, but I don’t want to fight this anymore. I can’t fight it anymore. So if you’regoing to be my undoing, then all I want is to crash and fall with you in my arms.I don’t know what he’s fighting, and I don’t care about the things he’s left unsaid. All that matters is he wants me. I’ve dreamed of that feeling over and over—yearning for his embrace, a place to call home.
“So,” Miriam sighs, interrupting my thoughts. “Would you run away with him?”
It’s my turn to bite my lip. “Honestly? Yes.”
“After only one kiss?” Miriam teases, but I feel the sting of her judgment.
She doesn’t know him like I do, I remind myself, shaking off the shame and smiling at her to hide it.
“What can I say? It was that good.” And then we’re giggling again.
Hours pass, and we talk on and on until all too soon, soft colors paint the skies—purples, pinks, and blues peeking through. The day is ending, slipping away to night, and even though the docks are still bustling from the delivery, it’s time to go home. The shadows remind me of my last twilight walk. I tense without meaning to, a shiver crawling up my spine.
“Do you want Tavien to walk you home?” Miriam asks, sensing my unease.
I nod, unable to accept her offer verbally, feeling slightly childish in my agreement. She smiles warmly, giving my arm an understanding squeeze before calling to her brother.
“Tavien!” He stops skipping rocks, giving Miriam and me his full attention.
“Can you walk Mercy home? It’s getting late.”
“Yeah, are the two of you ready?” he asks, eyeing us as we splash toward the beach.
“Yes, thank you. I don’t want to be late for dinner.” I reply, a half-truth.
Tavien doesn’t need to know about my encounter with Azrael the last time I left the markets. It’s my little secret, and something I don’t need anyone else finding out about. I enjoy my freedom all too much to jeopardize it.
“Are you coming with us?” Tavien asks Miriam.
“I think I should help with dinner and baths for the younger children at home. From the looks of things here, they’re still going to be unloading this ship until they run out of daylight. I’m sure our mother will appreciate the help.”
“Let her know I’ll be along after I take Mercy home. I’ll bring some sandwiches back up here so Father and the rest of the men can grab a quick bite. They’re sure to be exhausted. I’ve beenwatching all day, and from what I can tell, they’re unloading double the size of shipments we normally receive,” he answers.
Oh, how it makes me long for a sibling of my own to share the burden with. But then again, I can’t wish my father on anyone else, let alone worry about protecting someone else from him. I hug Miriam extra tight when we reach the shore. She really is the closest thing I have to a sister. Or a friend. Tavien and I walk in a comfortable silence. He’s always been on the quieter side—observant and calm, taking in the entire world around him while assessing it in his mind. It only bothers me because I’m left painfully alone in my thoughts.
