It feels good.
“I’m really liking it so far. It’s quiet and secluded and the perfect place where no one knows who I am. I’m not associated with my past life, Kodi. I’m finally allowed to be myself and be who I want to be with no one telling me how to breathe. You know?”
“I get it,” she resigns. “I just hope you end up finding a good friend. Do you have neighbors close by?”
“There’s only one other house on my road. Which is a dirt road, for your information.”
“Gross. Your poor car,” she whines for me. “But have you met her yet? Did she see you and come over with a town welcome basket or some shit?”
“She is actually ahe,and if I’m being honest, he doesn’t seem super friendly. He definitely doesn’t seem like the type to bring a basket of fruit over. Unless it’s one of those poisonous apples.”
“Ohhh,” she emphasizes, curiosity peaking in her tone. “A male neighbor, huh? Just the two of you on the road. This sounds like a fun time written all over it.”
“Kodi,” I warn, “I didn’t move here for that. It’s the last thing I want to do while I’m here. I’m strictly here to focus on myself.”
“You can do that and still get laid.”
“Something isn’t right in your head.” I laugh. “After the shit I just went through with Theodore, I never want to get involved with anyone again. I refuse. My trusty vibrator is the only thing that will touch me down there for a long time.”
That’s only partially a lie.
It’s not that Ineverwant to be in another relationship, it’s that I plan to be way more cautious before jumping into one. Being cheated on in the worst way possible does something to you. It changes you. It makes you trust less. It makes it hard to believe people’s true intentions.
I want to learn how to trust again.
I don’t want love in the dark.
I want big, loud,can’t live without melove.
I want faithful love.
The memories of the day I walked into Theodore’s office hit me like a truck. Emotions I fight so hard to keep down whenever the thoughts stir in my head, itching to break the surface. But I won’t allow it. I can’t allow it.
I won’t let my past take away from my future here.
“Someday you will find someone, so you don’t wear your batteries down on that thing,” Kodi says. “Someday.”
“I should get going,” I say with thick emotions in my throat, avoiding the topic. “I want to unpack a bit. Then I really need to go find a store or something. My clothes donotfit the vibe here. I really don’t want to look like an outcast any more than I already feel.”
“Text me your new address. I have some perfect things for you.”
I smile to myself. “You’re the best. I’m going to work on getting a job next week. So I’ll send you some money for them.”
“Nonsense. I told you to go set the world on fire. You need to look good doing it.”
I shake my head. “Bye, Kodi. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
I hang up and survey my surroundings.
There’s still a lot to unpack. Mentally and physically.
But I’ve never been so ready for change.
CHAPTER 5
HAVE YOU SEEN THE NEW BENZ AROUND TOWN?
