It could not be said that I would leave without knowing my true position.
“Only for the bearing of children?” I asked, raising my chin stiffly.
“For that, and for my pleasure.”
His hands crept about my waist.
“And I shall give you great pleasure in return.”
He gathered me to him, enfolding me. In his arms, I felt that physical tug, the compulsion I was unable to ignore, at his touch, at the smell of him.
He carried me, that I should stay dry.
Wind filled the sails, and we were far away by the time the sun was full over the horizon.
I wondered what lay ahead, what adventure. I had already discovered so much.
14
The sound of metal upon metal reached us on the wind, the shouts of battle, and the wails of the wounded, of the dying.
The garrison, it appeared, having received news of a Viking landing, had sent its soldiers. Our own children, playing on the hill above the meadow, had seen them from some distance, and run back to shout of men on horseback. There was irony in that, those children having warned the very warriors who killed their fathers.
People had begun the slow resumption of household chores.
I approached those who’d been working on the sails, urged them to pick up their needles once more.
“Whore!” one muttered, spitting on my dress.
They turned their backs.
There was little I could say in my defence. Had I not, in the end, welcomed Eirik as my lover? Nevertheless, in my heart, I knew that it was not my recent behavior that brought their castigation. They had always sensed my difference, and wished to condemn me for it.
Faline kept her distance, her face troubled, as I knew mine to be. For the same reason? I couldn’t have said. What did I wish? The death of the Northmen? It would be justice.
Yet I did not.
I could not wish harm to Eirik or to Helka. She too, shield in hand, had joined the battle cry, running through the long grasses of the meadow. I wondered what the wise women inside Helka’s tree had carved for her fate, for that of her men, for Eirik.
Two of the children I sent to resume their place of watching, upon the hill, to return with news as soon as they were able.
I went to see the hens, but there were few eggs to collect, most of the chickens having been plucked and eaten.
The wind dropped as the sun rose higher, the cries drifting to us growing quieter.
I searched my feelings, and I could not deny that my thoughts were all of Eirik. His kiss remained inside me. I withdrew and lay upon my bed, seeking out the smell of him.
I could not help myself. I touched my breasts, where his mouth had been, and then between my legs. If he came to me now, I would not resist, even were he to stretch me out on the long table of the hall, and fuck me before every Northman’s eyes. I would do whatever he wished. And I would do so as willingly as a new flower, opening to the sun.
Epilogue
We sailed through the day but, that night, the wind dropped and the men took up the oars. I slept, to the dip and sweep of wood through water.
I dreamt that I was running through a forest, running to escape some malevolent force, Eirik beside me. We ran until the trees opened, and we stood beside one another, looking down into a precipice.
In fear, I turned, to see a great wolf, black, with eyes blazing.
All at once, I was alone, and the beast stood over me, lowering its teeth, to close upon my throat.
