During the night I came to realize that Lily was stronger and had much more emotional intelligence than I had.
With hindsight, although she’d appeared uncaring and selfish, I knew deep down that she couldn’t control when she could take time out. That decision was driven by market forces in the music industry as well as promoting and touring to compete with whoever else was releasing albums at the same time.
Crakt Soundzz had released twelve hit albums, and we had a diehard fanbase with nothing to prove. Whereas, XrAid had three under their belt and had just signed a new three album deal with the record company.
From her perspective I had blown her world to smithereens at a moment’s notice because I wanted more from us, without stopping to catch a breath and consider that if her circumstances were different, she’d likely want that too.
Although I’d already showered, I had another, and once I’d grabbed some fresh clothing from my closet in the master suite, I went downstairs to face the music.
I searched through the house and eventually found Lily in the music studio, talking on her cell phone. She was freshly showered with her hair still wet, bare-footed, but dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a simple light-blue T-shirt.
When she glanced up, I guessed she’d heard me coming, and the smile she’d had on her face for the caller, froze then fell. “Okay, I need to go,” she said quietly. “Yes, yes… I’ll call you tomorrow.”
Usually if someone had called and I hadn’t been present Lily made a point of telling me who the caller was.
When she didn’t, it made me even more curious as to who she’d been talking to. However, I believed I’d given up the right to ask by leaving her the way I had.
“Did you sleep?” I asked, making casual conversation, when she made no attempt to speak.
“A little. No need to ask if you did. I heard you snore all the way down the hall.” Lily’s voice lacked the usual playful tone she would have had saying something like that.
A text came in on my cell phone that I had in my hand. When I checked the name and saw that it was Rick, I wondered if the caller had been him.
“It’s Rick,” I told her without hesitation.
“Yeah. He said he’d be contacting you.”
“Contacting me? Why?”
Lily scoffed. “I contacted Lennie to ask if I could take a few weeks off. Rick instantly took his cell off him and asked me what was wrong.”
“And you said what?” I questioned, immediately wondering if we could catch a break from these guys to figure our lives out alone.
“I told him that I needed a couple of weeks off.”
“Did he ask why?”
“No, just said he’d move things around.”
“Good then we’ll?—”
“I’m flying to London,” she announced, cutting dead the sentence about reconciliation forming in my head.
“London?”
“Yeah, I’m going to spend time with my parents.”
“I’ll come with you,” I said. My mind began to race that a break away from everyone connected with the bands was exactly what Lily and I needed to reconnect.
“No. I’m going alone. My head feels as if it’s going to explode and if I don’t deal with the pressure, I might end up having a breakdown.”
“You really don’t want me with you?” I asked, crushed by her rejection.
“I wanted you to be here since the moment I got off that plane weeks ago. You chose to leave. So you’ll excuse me if I decide the same courtesy applies to me.”
A streak of panic coursed through my veins that Lily was running back to a place that was safe, which told me she no longer felt safewithme. I’d broken the trust that we had between us by not talking about how discontented I was and allowing my misplaced resentment to boil over.
Now I was being forced to face the consequences of my impulsive action which may have jeopardized not only mine and Lily’s futures but perhaps our unborn baby’s as well.
