My heart stopped for a beat. “How can you even ask me that?” I questioned in a whisper.
“Because the way you’re behaving is like this isn’t a gift. This baby wasn’t planned,” she said, rubbing her own bump. “But I can’t wait to meet him. You know why? Because he’s made from love. He’s an extension of Drew and I, and he’s going to be an amazing brother to Ilisha and Duncan.”
“Well, good for you. You don’t have a band depending on you though, do you?”
“Fuck, Lily, wake up. XrAid performed before you were one of them and I’m sure Cody can front the band alone until you figure your family life out. No one’s asking you to quit what you do. You’re having a fucking baby, that’s all.”
“Don’t tell Drew, he’d tell Alfie,” I blurted, alarmed at that thought.
“I’m not keeping it from Drew, but he wouldn’t say anything to Alfie. That’s your job… or are you considering not keeping it?”
“This is… it’s all too sudden and surreal… I need to think,” I said, placing a palm on my forehead as I paced the floor.
“Yeah, and you make those thoughts long and hard because some decisions you make in life can’t be undone,” Elle stated with a note of finality to it.
“I expected you to be more supportive,” I muttered quietly, feeling more distressed by the second.
“Thisisme supporting you. This is me trying to wake you up so that you can see what a wonderful life is waiting for you, no matter whether you play music or not.”
“I won’t be forced into anything,” I stated bluntly. Not really knowing what that meant myself.
“No one’s forcing you. But the reality is that you’re pregnant. You were there and willing when it happened. You have a husband that loves you but has taken the desperate step to leave because you can’t see what’s in front of you. And… I might as well say it, from where I’m standing, you think more of Lennie, Cody, Shawn and Digs than you do your amazing husband.”
“I do not,” I ground out, affronted by her accusation.
“Then fucking prove it. Stop giving the band priority and start paying attention to your husband.”
The conversation between Elle and I went downhill, and she left shortly afterwards. We hadn’t fallen out, but during our friendship there had been times, mostly in our teens, when we hadn’t seen eye-to-eye, and at those times she’d always gone home. This time was no different. But she had given me plenty to think about.
For hours after she’d gone, I’d stared at the positive test results and decided that even though I had no idea what I wanted to do right then, that Alfie would need to be told.
I picked up my cell phone with my heart in my mouth and swiped to unlock it. Once I’d hit speed dial on Alfie’s number, I took a deep breath and waited for the call to connect.
“The number is unable to take your call right now. Please try later.”Fuck.I hadn’t even gone to voicemail because it was full.
I called Drew.
“Drew, do you know where Alfie is?”
“Sorry, Lily. I was looking for him myself today, but his voicemail is full.”
“Yeah, I just got that too. Even my text messages wouldn’t go through. I’m wondering if he’s somewhere that’s out of range. Anyway, I’ll call the other guys,” I said, concluding the call, thinking if Elle had told Drew at least he was keeping it quiet.
An hour later, I’d called around to all our friends and exhausted my contacts, but even his record company couldn’t help. All I could do was keep trying and pray he’d reach out to me.
CHAPTER 19
ALFIE
TWO WEEKS LATER
“Where the fuck have you been?” Drew muttered, his voice gruff with relief and annoyance in his scolding question.
“I hired a Winnebago and took a hiking trip to Wyoming with Oscar,” I admitted, chuckling. It had done me good to get away from everything, but I’d missed Lily like crazy and I was glad to be back.
“Not funny, Dude. Lily’s been going out of her mind with worry. We all have. You didn’t clear your voicemail so we couldn’t leave you a message.”
“Why? What’s happened? Is Lily okay?” His abrupt response made me instantly think something was wrong.
