Rick stepped away from me and patted Cody down. “Well, you look as if you’re in one piece,” he joked. “Do I need to check if your balls are still there?”
“Fuck off,” Cody muttered. He stole a glance toward me then looked back toward Alfie.
“Can you spare Cody a few minutes alone?” Alfie asked. His suggestion surprised me because he had been livid with him. “I’ll keep an eye on Charlie but you two should talk.”
I shrugged. “Of course I’ll talk to you, Cody. Let’s go down to the music room, it’s quieter down there.”
I entered the room first, then Cody followed and closed the door behind him. Unlike Lennie, who hovered close to the exit, Cody came straight toward me and sat next to me the moment I sat down.
Like Lennie he looked tired, and his eyes were full of concern. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
“In general, or about the band?” I asked, cutting straight to the chase.
He chuckled. “Not about the band. I care about you. I was inquiring after your welfare.”
A pang of remorse tugged at my heart, and I sighed. “Sorry. It’s just?—”
“I get it, and you have every right to be pissed with me. But know this, Lily. I’d never willingly do anything to hurt you—ever.”
I swayed my head from side to side while I considered his words. “I know. I hate that people think I’d do anything to degrade what I have with Alfie.”
“He’s a lucky man,” he mumbled. “I know it hasn’t helped… the way I’ve been about you. Since I’ve had time away, it’s given me quite the perspective on how I’ve behaved.”
“I do love you, Cody… but I could never bein lovewith you. You know my feelings on Alfie?—”
Cody grabbed my hand and gave it a tiny squeeze. “Don’t. Please, don’t say any more,” he urged. “I should never have put you in that position where I was constantly testing the water. It was most unfair, and I know that now.”
“Thanks,” I mumbled because I could feel his pain, but it was his heart that had latched on to an impossible situation, not mine.
There was a pause in the conversation, then Cody spoke again. “Your baby looks beautiful,” he said quietly.
“That he is… but I’m prone to be a tad bit biased there,” I teased.
“With you and Alfie as parents he couldn’t be anything else.” His eyes searched my face, and I had a sudden urge to hug him. Maybe because he was right there, trying to make amends, or perhaps I’d missed the friend he had been, who’d taken care and loved me, all the while knowing my heart was someone else’s.
“Can we have a hug?” I blurted, surprised by the overwhelming need to do that once the thought had entered my head.
I saw the relief on his face when he huffed out a breath. “I thought you’d never ask.”
We both automatically stood and wrapped each other in a genuine hug that said everything we couldn’t with words, then Cody stepped away.
“Are you still going to stay with XrAid?”
“Lennie asked the same. I’d need to see what that looked like going forward. There’s a rift a mile wide between you, me and Lennie, and I’m not sure where that leaves all of us. Plus, I’m not spending months on the road without Alfie and Charlie anymore. Music is important, and I never thought I’d say this, but family comes first from now on.”
“Sit down,” he said, gesturing for us to take a seat again.
“Lily, I’m going to make this easier for everyone, but especially for myself. Seeing you now… listening to you talking, it’s made it clear to me where I belong.”
“What do you mean?”
“I was eighty percent sure what I wanted to say this afternoon to you, Lennie and the rest of the band, but now I’m one hundred percent. I’m leaving the band.”
“Because of me?”
“No, because of me. Being away from you hasn’t been easy, but it’s given me a lot of perspective. I’ve been offered a solo record deal, three albums, and I’m ready to move on.”
“Move on? You’re definitely going to leave?” At first, I didn’t know what or how to feel about Cody’s news, then the numbness turned to panic, resignation and finally sadness.
