“Every great love story has to start somewhere.” Tess holds a hand to her heart. “What are you going to do to win her over?”
“Nothing.”
“Oh, come on. Every girl wants a love declaration or grand gesture.”
“I’m not going to declare my love to someone I’m not in love with.”
Tess huffs. “You’re no fun. What will you do when youdolove her—or someone else?”
“I don’t know.” I shrug. “Tell her?”
She tuts. “That won’t do. What are her interests?”
“From what I know, I’d say she likes dogs, sweaters, coffee, and Taylor Swift.”
“That’s perfect. You can get treats or toys for her dog. Recite Taylor’s lyrics to her as your text responses. Bring her coffee just the way she likes it. Heck, maybe you could even buy matching sweaters for her and the dog.” She sighs dreamily. “When you tell her you love her, you totally need to do it in a way related to Taylor.”
“How do you declare love in a way related to Taylor Swift?”
Tess hangs her head. “How are we even related? I have so much to teach you, little brother. Just call me when you need help winning her over. I’ve got your back.”
“You know who doesn’t have my back? Your daughter.”
Her brow furrows. “What did she do?”
“Kelsey and I are in a bit of a prank war right now, and your daughter helped the enemy.”
“What did you do to that poor girl?”
“Me?” I scoff. “She started it.”
Tess leans back and kicks up her feet. “In that case, I need the details, stat.”
“She put out an advertisement in the newspaper with my face and phone number that said I was a doctor available forin-home visitsto help with anyone’s needs.”
My sister laughs uncontrollably. All I can do is sit there and wait while she gets all her giggles out at my expense. Once she’s finally gotten control of herself, Tess says, “That’s hilarious. I only wish I’d thought of it first.” She wipes the tears from her eyes. “Did anyone call for yourservices?”
I nod. “I had so many women blowing up my phone. Kelsey had the newspaper put a redaction out, but I still had to change my number because of the obscene amount of calls I got.”
“I’d wondered why you texted me that you got a new number. It all makes sense now.” She chuckles. “Please tell me you still have some voicemails I can listen to when I get back home.”
“Those were all deleted immediately. I just imagined Evie opening my phone and accidentally playing one of them.” I grimace. “There was no way I was about to let that happen.”
“As much as I would’ve loved to hear them, thank you for preserving my daughter’s innocence.” She laughs again. “I can’t wait to meet Kelsey. I have a feeling we’d be great friends.”
I have no doubt that Tess and Kelsey would be two peas in a pod, teasing and pranking me for the rest of my life. My heart pounds in my chest at the thought. They would make a terrifying pair, but also the thought of Kelsey being part of the rest of my life doesn’t sound quite so bad.
“What did you do to retaliate?” she asks.
“Evie and I got one of her roommates to let us in, and we hid a bunch of miniature rubber ducks in her house and car.”
“Because of the duck situation at Sunrise Springs?” I nod. “That’s gold. I’m impressed with your creativity.”
With a compliment like that, there’s no way I’m telling her the inspiration for the idea came from the internet. “Thanks.” I smile. “Then I was welcomed home yesterday with a lovely spray of water to the crotch.”
She presses her lips together, trying to hold back her laughter. “I think I need more of an explanation than that.”
I tell her about the hair tie around the sprayer and how I had to change before taking Evie to see the pumpkins last night. When I’m finished talking, Tess smirks knowingly.
