However, before I could put my plan into motion, I’d heard from the director of the symphony. I was supposed to have turned in an initial draft of the concerto I was writing specifically to be played by the CSO. It was how I’d weaseled my way into the orchestra in the first place. It wasn’t enough that they got theprivilege of having me play for them, but they also wanted the honor of playing my first ever composed piece.
But I had nothing to give them.
There were scraps. Sections I’d written and immediately tossed aside. The writer’s block was intense. I couldn’t concentrate. My insecurities were eating me alive. Not to mention, I was allowing myself to be distracted by Pierce. I was so fucking close to finally winning him. Letting up now would be disastrous.
Yet I’d had to put my pursuit on hold so I could come up with something to give them. Of course, the harder I’d worked, the more my brain refused to cooperate. I’d locked myself up in the house and refused to come out, refused to even look at my phone until I got something on paper.
It was just my luck that it had been Pierce who’d found me in such a state. Who would want someone who was such a mess? Pierce was the epitome of careful control and composure. He was always perfect. Every time he opened his mouth, the right thing came out. He wasn’t embarrassing or ridiculous. I could do that too. I could be a perfect match for him.
There was this other side to me, though, that wasn’t perfect. The side that never knew what to say. The side that eventually fell apart under all the pressure. I’d thought I could keep that hidden from him. At least until he was so deeply in love with me that he could deal with the fact that I sometimes crumbled into useless shit. He wasn’t supposed to see this side of me now.
The entire ride to his house was silent. I curled up in the front seat, my head resting on the cold window. The world became a blur as we rushed along the highway. Part of me wanted to scream and cry against his gentleness and understanding. Why did he have to be so wonderful? I couldn’t remember the last time someone had seen me in such a state. But he didn’t flinch away or try to escape. He just held me tighter.
Pierce broke the silence in the most unexpected way as we pulled down the long driveway to his home. “I was going to put you in my bedroom, but if you would prefer your own room…”
I blinked, my brain struggling to register the words he was saying.His room?He knew where I stood on things, what I wanted from him, and he wasn’t trying to keep me at arm’s length.
“No, I want to stay with you.”
And it wasn’t because I was trying to win his heart. Right now, the entire world grated on my brain. It was all too much. But when I was with Pierce, it was like I could function a little more. I could tolerate the world a smidge better.
“Okay. Not a problem.”
Pierce ushered me inside and up the winding stairs to his enormous bedroom. He must have texted his staff ahead of leaving my place, because the room was already dimly lit, with a fire flickering in the grate and the rain music playing in the background. A set of soft pajamas sat folded at the end of the bed.
“Would you like to take a shower? Afterward, you can eat or maybe take a nap.”
A shower did sound heavenly. “I need to get to work,” I mumbled. My arms shifted around my chest, and the papers I was holding crinkled, demanding that I write something worthy of the reputation I’d cultivated for so many years.
“Your brain doesn’t operate without proper food and sleep. After you’ve done both, I’ll let you have your violin back.”
I glared at him over my shoulder, but deep down, I knew he was right. There was no fight left in me. I opened the coat and handed him the sheet music I’d brought.
“You want to join me?” I asked, though I knew that there was nothing enticing about me at that moment.
A tiny smirk lifted one corner of his mouth, and I swore I could see a hint of relief in his eyes. “Maybe next time. Go shower.”
The shower was as divine as I knew it would be. The hot water chased away all manner of aches and pains. I might have also spent extra time sniffing all the bottles of soap, shampoo, and conditioner Pierce used. It was a bonus. Pierce had grabbed none of my toiletries, so I got to use his. I smelled like him, even though the scent rising off his warm skin was so much better than when it was on me.
After the shower, I pulled on the pajamas and simply collapsed in his bed. Food would have been nice, but my eyes burned and my body couldn’t take another second of being upright and conscious.
Upon waking, I found Pierce seated on the sofa in the corner of the bedroom. He’d tossed his suit jacket and tie onto the back of a chair. His sleeves were rolled up above his elbows, and he had a stack of documents in front of him that he was reading through. Strands of hair hung over his forehead as though he’d been running his fingers through it, and I couldn’t remember a time when he’d looked more handsome to me.
“What time is it? How long have I been out?”
Pierce’s head popped up, and he smiled. “It’s after eight. You slept for about five hours.”
“Fuck,” I moaned, rubbing my eyes with the heel of my palm. “Sorry.”
“Would you like something to eat?”
Before I could even answer, my stomach let out a god-awful growl that filled the room. “So, apparently yes,” I said, not even trying to play it off.
Pierce let out a chuckle and rose. “Come on. I’m still breaking in a new cook, and she’s a bit of an overachiever. You’re my first real guest, and I think she’s looking to show off.”
“Really?” I tossed the blankets aside and climbed out of bed. I hesitated a moment, wondering if I should find my own clothes prior to wandering around Pierce’s house in his pajamas. How many staff members did he even have? Did he want them seeing me in his clothes?
Pierce walked to my side and held out a pair of socks. “Yeah, she’s sweet and very talented. She’s been part of my staff for about a month now. When she found out I had a guest who hadn’t been feeling well recently, she began working on dishes that will replenish your immune system and boost your energy.” Pierce lowered his voice and leaned in to add, “She’s a stickler for vegetables. I’ve never eaten so many in my life.”
