1
SANDRA
Two months earlier
‘We’re selling up and moving to Cambridge,’ Don continued, his deep brown eyes – so like Brian’s – gazing solemnly at her. ‘I can’t afford to turn down this promotion, Mum, it’s a big increase in salary. It will make a huge difference to our lives.’ He was leaning forward, elbows on the table, waiting for her response.
Sandra stared at him wordlessly. She felt like she’d been punched in the solar plexus, she was completely winded. This was the last thing she’d expected. When Don said that he was popping in on Saturday morning for a chat, she thought he might need a loan; she knew things had been a bit tight for them since Laila’s hours at work had been reduced to four days a week. Of course she would help them. She wasn’t flush, but she still had a bit of money in the bank, although not as much as she would have had if Brian hadn’t forgotten to renew his life insurance when the mortgage had been paid off a few years ago. She wasn’t going to dwell on that though, she could manage. She hadn’texpected her son to tell her that his company were opening a new branch in Cambridge – a couple of hours drive away – and he’d been asked to manage it.
‘You do see that I have to go, don’t you, Mum? You know how we’ve been struggling financially. I can’t afford to turn down this promotion.’ Dressed as he was today in black T-shirt and jeans, his thick brown-with-a-bit-of-grey hair tousled – instead of the suit and gelled hair look he wore for work – he reminded her of when he was a teenager, confessing that he’d run into the car with his bike. She could see that he felt awful about moving away and leaving her.
She nodded, thoughts tumbling around in her mind as if they were on the last spin of a washing cycle. How would she manage without them? Don, his wife Laila and their two children Kali and Rana, lived a short drive away and were always popping in, inviting her over for dinner, asking her to babysit the children. She loved being involved in their life and couldn’t imagine not having them nearby. Since her husband Brian had died eight months ago, they had been her lifeline. She didn’t know how she would have got through the days without them.
‘Of course. I understand.’ Tears were pricking her eyes but she refused to let them drop. She was being selfish, Don and Laila had their own lives. They had to put their family first. She could manage. Of course she could. It wasn’t the same as actually seeing them but she could Facetime regularly, like she did with Becky, her eldest, who lived in Australia with her husband Hogan and teenage children Zac and Honey. Martin, her middle child, had died before he had a family. It saddened her that he hadn’t left a little version of himself behind.
She missed him terribly, and losing Brian had left another big hole in her life. Don, Laila and the children had helped fill thathole. And now they were leaving. A lump formed in her throat as she thought how much she would miss the hugs from six-year-old Kali and eight-year-old Rana’s jokes, having them overnight for sleepovers, sharing Sunday lunch with them all.
She could still have her grandchildren to stay in the holidays, she told herself. And she could visit.
‘What about Laila’s job?’ she asked, although what she wanted to ask was ‘What about me? What am I going to do?’ Laila was a project manager for a large healthcare company, she worked from home a couple of days a week but had to go into the office for the remaining two days. It would be a long drive for her from Cambridge.
‘Her company said she can work from home completely, as long as she attends a meeting once a month. This is perfect for all of us, Mum. I can’t turn this down.’
‘Then I’m pleased for you, darling. Congratulations.’ Her mouth said the words while her mind was still reeling. ‘I’ll miss you all, but you must do what is best for you,’ she added, hoping he hadn’t noticed the quiver in her voice.
Don reached out and took her hand. ‘We’ll miss you too, Mum, which is why we want you to come along too. Sell this house and move to Cambridge with us.’
She startled as if she’d been shot. Sell up? She’d lived in this house for forty-five years. She and Brian had worked hard, saved hard to put down the deposit needed to buy it and had been so proud when they’d moved out of the flat they were renting into their very own home. Becky, Martin and Don had grown up here. The walls sang with cherished family memories. She didn’t want to move. And was he suggesting that she lived with them? Give up her independence?
‘It’s not good for you to be rattling around in this old house byyourself, Mum. I worry about you so much. You selling up and moving with us is the perfect solution.’
He said it as if it was decided. Cut and dried. They were moving, so she was too.
‘This is a big step, Don. I have to think about it.’ Her voice faltered.
‘I know it’s come as a shock, Mum, but seriously what’s there to think about? You don’t want to stay here by yourself, do you?’
No she didn’t. But she didn’t want to up sticks and move a couple of hundred miles away either. ‘I’m settled here. It’s been my home for years. I don’t think I can face a move.’ She couldn’t believe this was happening.
‘I know it’s a lot for you to get your head around, but we’ll help you tidy up the house ready to put it on the market. I think you’d get a tidy sum for it.’
Panic welled up inside her. This was moving too fast. ‘I don’t want to sell up, Don. Maybe I can come and stay with you at weekends? Or the children can stay over with me sometimes?’
Don looked exasperated. ‘It will be too tiring for you to travel every weekend, Mum, and we’ll be too busy to drive over here very often. You’ll be here on your own. And what about the kids? They will miss you so much.’
Sandra would miss the children terribly too. The days were long and empty enough as it was now that Brian was gone. She would be so lonely without them, but she didn’t think she could cope with moving. She’d barely recovered from losing Brian, she couldn’t give up their home.
She twisted her wedding ring around on her finger. ‘When are you leaving? Are you waiting until you sell your house first?’
‘I have to start work at the new office next month. The company are going to provide me with a flat until our house is sold, and Laila and the kids will stay here until then. I’ll returnhome weekends, or they’ll come to me. We’re hoping that we can time the move with the summer holidays so that they can start their new schools at the beginning of the new school year.’
A few months and they’d be gone. She couldn’t get her head around it. She had never dreamt that Don and Laila would move away, they seemed so settled here. And she’d come to rely on them so much. Now, without any warning, it was about to change.
‘Look, we’re putting our house on the market next week,’ Don continued. ‘If you put yours on too then they might sell at the same time. I know it’s all a bit sudden, Mum, but I can’t afford to turn this promotion down.’
‘I realise that. Of course you must accept the job. It’s just a bit of a shock, that’s all. Cambridge is such a long way away.’ She’d never even been there before, not even for a quick visit. Her gaze swept around the kitchen. ‘And the thought of leaving here… I assumed I’d be living here for the rest of my life.’
‘You’ll soon settle, we’ll help you.’ He reached for her hand and she raised her eyes to meet his and saw the guilt and worry in them. He was a good son and only trying to look out for her. She knew that.
