"The police couldn't or wouldn't do what? Hey, where are the thank-you donuts?" Jack casually glanced at Cletus, but I knew he'd cataloged everything about my customer in that one look. Once a soldier, always a soldier.
Cletus tensed. "Jack Shepherd. I've heard about you. Never mind. It's nothing important."
"Jack, this is Cletus McKee. He's having a problem with a stalker who got her hands on some nasty magic."
"And guns," Cletus said despondently. "Lots and lots of guns."
It had to be a record. Less than an hour back at my shop after two glorious weeks away, and I was already up to my elbows in problems. Magical and gun problems. After the troll had helped us catch the zealots who'd planted bombs at the church, I'd hoped I'd be done with that sort of thing for a long, long time.
"Welcome to Dead End," I said, sighing. "I feel like this conversation needs donuts. Lots and lots of donuts."
Cletus grinned at me. "Well, if we have donuts, how bad?—"
"No!" Jack and I both shouted.
There were some phrases you never, ever spoke in Dead End.
3
Tess
"What we need to do is call the goblins," I told Cletus.
"The goblins?" He looked confused.
"Specifically, Ollie. He knows how to deactivate magical items. He helped us out with a trove of evil magical artifacts once."
Ollie, short for Oleander, Gardner was the oldest son of the hippie goblins who ran Dead End Nursery. Nursery, as in plants, not little kids. The family also had a folk band, and they were all tall, lean, and pretty and looked like rock stars.
More importantly for the current problem, Ollie and his girlfriend Prism both possessed powerful talent and a great deal of knowledge for deactivating magical items.
"I think we should give them a call. Do you know exactly what kind of magical artifact your girlfriend has?"
"She’s not my girlfriend. She wasnevermy girlfriend. We went out once, and then she became a crazy stalker." Heshuddered. "You see this kind of thing on TV or at the movies, but you never think it will happen to you in real life.
Jack leaned against the counter, studying Cletus with narrow eyes. "No, you never do," he drawled.
"Anyway, do you know what kind of item it is?" I asked again.
He shook his head. "Not sure. I just know it’s something major. Her threats got worse after she got her hands on it."
I called Ollie but got his voicemail, so I left a message that was pretty vague. I just told him I wanted to ask for his help in deactivating something. He’d get the idea, and I could go into more detail when we connected.
"As soon as I hear from him, I’ll let you know," I told Cletus, who'd been listening to the call. "Maybe you could try to find out more about exactly what it is she has in the meantime?"
He shrugged. For someone who claimed to be terrified of a crazy stalker, he suddenly seemed fairly nonchalant about it, which made me wonder what the actual story was. But it wouldn’t hurt to ask Ollie about how to deactivate an unknown magical object, just in case the ex-girlfriend showed up here.
It wouldn't be the first time I'd had stalkers in my shop.
Cletus, glancing at Jack and then back at me, started edging toward the door. "Okay. Well, thank you for your help. I need to go down to town square and inspect the area where I’ll put up my tent and stage the display."
"Your tent?" Jack raised an eyebrow.
"Cletus got the Fourth of July fireworks contract for Dead End," I explained.
Jack, who’d only been back in town for less than two years, didn’t understand the hefty weight of that statement, so he just nodded.
Cletus said his goodbyes and made his way out the door, and Jack turned to me.
