When a five-hundred-pound tiger sits on you, you’re not moving until he says so.
Tess quit shrieking mid-yell and pointed at me, her voice as calm as if she was talking about the weather. “Don’t suffocate him, Jack. I’m calling Susan and Andy to come get him and take him to jail.”
I narrowed my eyes at her and swished my tail, but I moved over slightly so I was only holding him down by the legs and wouldn’t accidentally suffocate him.
She grinned and absently patted my furry head. “I know. Pretty believable, wasn’t it?”
Ish started choking and coughing, completely exaggerating his need for air. Finally, when he stopped coughing, he stared up at Tess. “Are you saying that youdidn’tsee my death?”
“Not even the slightest glimmer,” she said cheerfully. “I’ve never seen Susan’s death, either, and I’ve noticed that immunity seems to run in families. Maybe that’s it. Maybe I could even touch Carlos!”
I growled at her, and she laughed.
Ish started sputtering. “You faked that? That’s horrible!”
Tess rolled her eyes. “Says the man who held agun to my head.I’m getting awfully tired of people pointing guns at me this week.”
He started to say something else, so I opened my mouth and showed him my fangs.
He immediately shrank back and shut up.
Good call.
“Jack. Don’t put his head in your mouth like you did with that other guy,” Tess pretend-chided me. “It’s so unhygienic.”
I made a chuffing sound that only she would realize was tiger laughter. Ish must have thought it was a growl, or that I was getting ready to eat him, because he closed his eyes and moaned.
It took Susan less than ten minutes to arrive, speeding up the driveway with sirens blaring and lights blazing.
Tess sighed. “That’s a little overkill. I told her we had him contained.”
I agreed, but didn’t mind if it scared Aloysius.
I didn’t mind that at all.
When Susan put handcuffs on her cousin, yelling at him the entire time, I prowled off a few steps and shifted back to human. Since the magic of my shift allows me to bring clothes into the change of form, I don’t ever have to worry about being embarrassed by showing up buck naked to any situation. (Tess had asked me where all the jeans and T-shirts came from, but I honestly had no idea.)
The sheriff secured Ish in the back seat of the patrol car, and then walked back over to us. “Tess, I can’t tell you how sorry I am about this. But, hey. Great garage.”
Tess waved a hand. “Thanks. But nothing about this is your fault.”
We told Susan everything that had happened, and what Ish had said and done.
“I really don’t think he killed his mother, at least,” Tess said.
Susan shrugged. “I never thought he did, after Sadie told us he’d been there with her and Granny all afternoon. We’re still looking for Henrietta, but I’m starting to believe she came to her senses and got out of town. Maybe moved to a nice, warm, nonextradition country and is drinking margaritas on the beach.”
Tess shook her head. “You didn’t talk to her, Susan. She’s not going anywhere until she gets what she thinks she’s owed. You need to be careful. And please get that trove out of your house as soon as possible. You’re in danger as long as you have it.”
“I know.” Susan tightened her lips. “Lizzie is working the overnight shift, so she and I will get Ish in a cell, and we’ll keep him there until I figure out what to do about him. I’m assuming you want to press charges.”
“Yes,” I said.
“No,” Tess said.
“We can talk about it tomorrow,” Susan said hastily. “I’ll call you. Good night, Tess. Jack.”
I asked Tess to go inside and make us some tea while I took care of anything that absolutely needed to be put away. I figured we could argue about pressing charges after a good night’s sleep. After that, we sat on the couch with Lou and watched a mindless TV show for a while until Tess, curled up in my arms, finally relaxed and dozed off.
