"We're leaving. Now. These may be terrible guys, and we don't want to be here when they get out of that car," I whispered, tugging on them.
Just then, naturally, they got out of the car.
A man and a woman, and they were arguing about something. She'd been driving. Both of them opened the rear car doors and rummaged around for a minute and then hauled out what we could clearly see were paint cans.
"It's them!" Lorraine pushed my hand away. "We've got 'em, Tess. Come on, Eleanor. Let's show these thugs not to mess with Dead Enders!"
Before I could stop her, Lorraine shoved her way out of the bushes, with Eleanor right behind her. I wasn't about to let them take on two younger, stronger, dangerous criminals by themselves, so I ran out right on their heels and then pushed in front of them.
"Stop!" Lorraine yelled. "Don't you dare paint those windows again, you hooligans!"
Hooligans?
The strangers wheeled around to stare at us, dropped their paint guns, and pulled big guns.
Which they pointed at us.
The man laughed. "Hooligans? What is this? The old lady crime-fighting league?"
Just behind and next to me, I heard two oversized purses drop to the ground and saw two even bigger guns swing up to point right back at the bad guys.
"Who are you calling an old lady?" Lorraine yelled.
That's when things might have gotten really, really bad, except for two things.
First, I heard a siren screaming down the street toward us.
Second, an enormous tiger ran out from behind the side of the building, leapt through the air, landed on top of the bad guys' car, and roared.
The man dropped his gun and fell to the pavement, holding his arms defensively over his head. The woman, though, was made of sterner stuff. She swung her gun to point it at Jack.
I had just enough time for my heart to leap into my throat before Jack reached out one giant paw and smacked the gun out of her hand. When she screamed in frustration and dove for the gun, he gracefully hopped down from the car and put her head in his mouth.
She lost all desire to fight back after that.
By that time, Lorraine had the guy pinned down with her gun pointed at him. She kept saying, "Make my day, punk!"
He just curled up in a ball on the pavement and started crying.
"Not much of a criminal," Eleanor said, stuffing her gun back in her purse.
"Does Bill know his future bride plays Annie Oakley in her spare time?"
She grinned at me. "I prefer Batwoman, but no. A woman has to have some secrets."
Andy took the turn into the parking lot on two wheels, lights flashing and siren screaming, and then slammed the car to a stop. When he jumped out of the car, he pointed at the three of us and started to say something, but the words seemed to stick in his throat.
Instead, he let out a frustrated snarling sound and stalked over to the criminals. After he secured the gun, he snapped handcuffs on the man, who acted like he was happy to be arrested, muttering something about being saved from the crazy women, Andy turned to Jack, who'd let the woman remove her head, still attached, from his mouth.
She all but threw herself at Andy, holding her arms out in front of her. "Please arrest me. For the love of all things holy, arrest me and get me out of this nightmare of a town."
Andy took her gun and put cuffs on her, too, and escorted them both to the back of his police car. Then he turned and marched over to us.
"What did you think you were doing? If you—"
But the front door of the clinic slammed opened, interrupting the deputy mid-rant, and Phin stepped out, carrying a very fat cat.
"What is going on out here?"
