"Yes. She showed me the earrings. They had to be two carats each."
Molly, sitting in a chair next to me, leaned forward. "Did you do it?"
Charithra laughed and shook her head. "Not a chance. For one thing, it was ridiculous. For another, I don't poke holes in perfectly healthy animals forjewelry."
Phin shook his head. "I had a man come in once—a regular client—and ask me if I'd officiate at the wedding of his two hamsters."
"What did you do?" Jack asked.
"I told him, with a straight face, that I wasn't licensed to perform marriages in Florida," Phin said. "I skipped the reception, too, even though he sent me a gold-foil-embossed invitation."
Andy, who I'd noticed hadn't moved that far from the new vet all evening, grinned. "Cops have stupid criminal stories. Susan and I once arrested a masked man who'd robbed the Dead End bank. He didn't want to speak and give himself away by letting anybody hear his voice, he told us after we found him, so he just slid a note to the teller."
"Did you get fingerprints?" I read a lot of mysteries.
He laughed. "We could have, I suppose, but the note was on an old envelope—that had his full name and address on the front!"
Everybody cracked up.
"When we got done laughing, we drove out to his apartment and arrested him. He was sitting in his kitchen counting his money." Andy shook his head. "If you listen to those podcasts or watch TV shows or movies, you'd believe every criminal is a super genius. Most of them aren't all that bright, or they wouldn't have turned to a life of crime in the first place."
"What about you, Tess?" Charithra took a sip of wine. "What's the most unusual item you've taken in pawn?"
She looked startled when everybody started laughing. The real belly laugh kind.
"We don't have that kind of time," I said, sighing.
Everybody started tossing out suggestions.
Uncle Mike: "The Doltar!"
Aunt Ruby: "The dreamcatcher that had a nightmare trapped inside!"
Shelley, who'd wandered outside and curled up next to Jack: "Fluffy!"
Molly: "The music box! And I still have it."
Lucky: "The clowns' ukuleles!"
Jack gave them all a pitying look. "Oh, please. You haven't heard about the haunted kleptomaniac Christmas tree. I've been delivering stolen presents back to their owners all over town."
"Or the compliment cuckoo clock," I put in. "Got it today. It compliments me every hour."
Mellie, sitting on Dallas's lap on the swing, tilted her head. "How is that bad?"
"They're all compliments from the 1600s," I said glumly. "It told me my goats will have twins—oh, forgot to mention that, Uncle Mike; watch out—and I will have many fat babies."
Charithra laughed. "I can't help you with the second one, but if you get a goat with twins, be sure to call me. That can be a tricky birth."
"At least it hasn't told me that my bottom has the roundness of a fine heifer yet. Apparently, it said stuff like that to the woman who sold it to me so often she's in therapy."
Even Aunt Ruby laughed at that one. "I don't think I want to hear what it would say to me, then. I've gained a few pounds over the years."
Uncle Mike kissed her cheek. "You are even more stunningly beautiful today than you were the day I met you."
Maybe hehadstepped up his romance game since that garbage disposal.
After that, everybody carried dishes and glasses into the house. Jack and I refused all offers of help with washing up, and we said our goodbyes. When we'd almost gotten the kitchen back in shape, we heard a knock at the door.
