I sighed. Maybe Lorraine's idea had been better. 'Very strong words' was a pretty lame idea of justice.
I glanced up and down the sidewalk, to be sure nobody was coming, and then I raced back over to where Eleanor and Lorraine waited.
"Well?" Eleanor's eyes were wide. "Was she in there?"
"Let's go back to the car before we get caught."
"Tess! Tell me right now."
My shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry, but you were right. She's in there, and he was hugging her."
She ducked her head and nodded. "Okay. All right. Well, better to know, right?"
Then she started marching down the street back toward her car. Lorraine and I followed her, not exactly sure what to say. My heart ached for Eleanor. I knew she'd been growing more and more fond of Bill Oliver, who'd seemed like way too nice a guy to do this.
We cut through Bubba's lawn again, and I was in the lead, moving quite a bit faster than them, being the only one not eligible for Social Security, and so I was halfway across his lawn when I heard a shriek.
I whirled around and saw Lorraine down on the ground, rolling around in the unlit yard, and Eleanor jumping up and down, shrieking.
"Quiet! Do you want to get caught?" I raced over to them to find out what in the world was going on.
"He's got me, Tess, he's got me," Lorraine cried out hoarsely. "He's going to squeeze me to death and eat me! Who will run the diner?"
It was too dark for me to get a good idea of what was going on, and Eleanor was still jumping around like she was walking barefoot on hot coals.
"Who's got you? What is happening? Stay still, so I can see!"
Instead, she rolled away from me, thrashing her arms around wildly. "The snake! Bubba's boa constrictor has me!"
Oh, crap.
I had no idea how to get a boa constrictor to let go of a human being.
"Hold on, I'll Google."
"What? I'm dying here, and you're going to goonline?"
She kept thrashing her arms around, and Eleanor kept hopping back and forth, saying "I hate snakes, I hate snakes, I hate snakes" over and over and over, and then I pulled my phone out of my pocket and hit the button for the flashlight, just to get an idea of how much trouble we were in, and I saw everything and started laughing so hard I could barely breathe.
"Now you'relaughingat me while I’m dying?"
"Lorraine," I gasped out. "Lorraine, stop moving and look down."
"I don't want to see myself die," she whisper-shouted at me.
Eleanor stopped hopping and started laughing. "Oh, no. Lorraine. Look."
I moved the beam from the phone's flashlight down so it spotlighted Lorraine's legs… which were caught inside an old tire inner tube.
Not a boa constrictor.
Not even a garden snake.
She must have stepped into it, tripped, and then imagined the worst.
Lorraine made a huffing sound. "Well, fine. Are you two idiots going to just stand there laughing like hyenas or come over here and help me out of this thing?"
I shoved my phone in my pocket and helped her up and out of the scary inner tube, and then the light in Bubba's kitchen went on, and we heard him yelling through the open screen door.
