Again, the present tense verbs in his statement aren’t lost on me. I let out a ragged exhale. “With all due respect, I’m done with this conversation. Wolfe and I are almost divorced. That means he can fuck whomever he wants. I just want him to sign the divorce papers.”
“Some of the things that come out of your mouth. Do you know how cruel that sounds? How much it would break a dude’s heart if he were still in love with you?”
I frown. “What do you know about love, Rutger?”
He glowers at me, saying, “Look, honey, I didn’t become aplayer overnight. Once upon a fucking time, I believed in love and all of that shit until I had a girl like you talk the way you’re talking now. Sure, guys like Wolfe and I seem like big brutes—all brawn and no brains or hearts. But fuck, girl, you’ll destroy him if you talk like that.”
“Please,” I reply, shaking my head.Blame it all on the mean-mouthed girl. What about taking some personal responsibility?
He furrows his brow. “I’m not joking, Izzie. You shared a life. You had children together. He swore before God to be yours for the rest of his life, and he’s a man of his word. You should know that better than anyone. You were his goddamn world. You can’t just take that away from a man and expect him to feel nothing, especially when he didn’t do anything wrong.”
“There were many problems in our marriage. It wasn’t just photos of him with blondes that did us in.”
“Yeah, but the assumptions those photos caused didn’t help anything. You still don’t believe me about the twins, do you? I have the texts to prove the only one fucking them that night was me. You want to see?”
The words I hear come out of my mouth surprise me. “Yes, I do, Rutger.” Without hesitation, he sifts through his phone, and then I read through one of the filthiest text strings of my life. It’s obvious both twins were with Rutger the night the Facebook photos were taken, even though there are emojis and Polish words I can’t decode smattered throughout the dialogue.
“I have videos, too. Wanna take a look?”
I feel disgusted. “No, Rutger, the last thing I want to see are your naked ass cheeks.”
He looks shocked. “I’ve never had a girl say that to me before.”
I shake my head.
“I haven’t thought about those twins in ages,” he says with a laugh, sitting back in his chair. “That was a fun night.”
“Unrepentant as always, I see.”
He shrugs. “Yeah, I’m more or less the opposite of your husband.” He emphasizes the last word, looking at me. “Wolfe’ll never tell you this because of his fucking ego, but he’s still not over you. Not by a long shot. Why do you think he settled in Hollister and set up this security gig? It wasn’t just to be close to the kids. And for the record, he has always been and remains completely faithful to you. Although I don’t think he should, especially at this point. I’ve told him as much.”
“Oh, you have?”
He stares at me, frowning. “I mean, think about it. We’re talking nearly a year since he last had sex. That’s a helluva huge sacrifice for a woman who’s made it clear she no longer wants him. I wouldn’t do it. Fuck, I’d have trouble going one week.”
“I believe you,” I reply. “May I ask you something?”
He nods.
“The sudden switch in the narrative for tonight. The estranged couple who are still in love but won’t admit it? Was that Wolfe’s idea or yours?”
“Fuck, Izzie. You still don’t get it. It’s the only narrative anybody will believe after being in a room with you two for more than five minutes. The looks between you two are insane. All hot and bothered, like something out of a fucking soft porn flick.” He shakes his head. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re the best and worst thing that ever happened to my friend. I honestly wish he’d go back to being his old pre-Izzie self. But we both know that’s not going to happen. And I must admit, he’s a whole lot happier with you than without you.”
I could say the same thing. I haven’t felt truly happy for atleast a year now. Still, I can’t forget who I’m talking to. “Why should I believe anything you’re telling me?”
“Honey, that line of logic goes both ways. How long have you gone without wearing your wedding band and engagement ring? In my book, that’s a sure sign you’re fucking other guys.”
I roll my eyes.
He pauses for a long moment. “Ultimately, it comes down to trust. Do you trust him? Does he trust you? I know I could never trust a woman who served me divorce papers. Especially overseas. Not that I’d ever let a relationship get that far. But you know what I mean. That’s some devastating shit, Izzie. You’ve got to understand that.”
Pain radiates through my chest, and it feels heavy, like I can barely breathe. I stare at him, shifting uneasily in my chair. Emotion invades my voice as I observe, “Maybe you’re right. But if that’s the case, then it’s over anyway. Whether I fucked up or Wolfe did, we’re still over.”
“That’s not the takeaway I was going for.”
“What’s your takeaway then?”
“That no matter how messy your past is as a couple, and no matter what you need to do to fix it, you should probably give it a shot. You ignore the fact I knew you both in Afghanistan … before you started hooking up and for years afterwards. As the best man at your wedding, I guess it’s my place to point out the obvious—you’re both miserable apart.”
