I’m sure he can’t wait to tell my Mama of this order. I am not looking forward to that conversation, either.
“Alright. One extra large pepperoni pizza with a side of cinnamon sticks for the Tycoon. Delivering to one five five six seven Sunset Avenue, apartment one-oh-four. Should I bill the card on file?”
“Yes, Sir,” I answer.
“Alright. Expect your delivery in forty-five minutes.”
Thank you, Sir,” I say.
“Have a great day, thank you for choosing Lone Star pizza parlor,”he replies before hanging up.
Locking my phone, I stuff it back into my pocket. Harrison’s cleanup crew is the best of the best. They will comeover, dismember Sam, load him up, and clean the apartment from top to bottom. It is a little bit of an inconvenience that this is such a busy apartment complex, but there’s a reason why he’s the best.
Pulling my attention back to my love, I give her a lopsided smile.
“Ok, Princess. We’re all done. Let’s grab your purse and go home, how does that sound?” I ask, my tone as gentle as I can make it.
Staying quiet for a long moment, she finally meets my eyes. Nodding her head, she points to her tote on the coffee table.
Lifting my arm, I grab the floral bag from the wooden tabletop. Handing it to her, she says something that I am honestly shocked to hear. Her soft words thrill me to the bone and lets me know that everything between us will be alright. Even when she hears the whole goddamn ugly truth. I haven’t lost her.I won’t lose her.
“Thank you for protecting me, Sir. I love you. Let’s go home.”
CHAPTER twenty-four
dolly
I am completely numb. Devoid of any and all emotion. Is this what shock feels like? Sutton keeps telling me it is, so this must be normal. It’s just so strange. I think I should be feelingsomething.But I just feel…empty.
I don’t know how long we’ve been lying in bed, but it’s now dark outside. The Dallas skyline is beautiful at night, almost as gorgeous as San Diego’s. It normally fills me with a sense of awe, but I couldn’t care less right now. Apathy, thy name is Dolly.
Sutton has been holding me since coming home from my apartment, tenderly rocking me in his arms and sweetly playing with my hair. Humming lullabies with his deep voice and telling me humorous stories about his childhood. At least I think he has. I’m not really sure, I honestly haven’t been paying attention.
Apparently, I keep dozing off. I don’t even realize that I’m asleep until Sam’s beastly face flashes before mine. I wake upscreaming and continue until Sutton calms me down. It takes me a moment or two, then I revert back to nothingness.
I do wonder if this will happen every time I fall asleep? Will I always see his cold, demonic eyes? Will I always feel his gluttonous, unwanted touch? I hope not. God, please don’t let that happen.
Sighing softly, I focus on the steady beat of Sutton’s heart as it thrums against the shell of my ear. Cuddling against his chest, I stare at the downtown buildings just outside the window. I stay like this for what seems like forever, trying to muster up the courage to talk to him about what has been filtering into my nearly flatlined brain. While most of my thoughts are fuzzy, two things are crystal clear.
One, he has killed Sam.
Two, he has cheated on me.
When I think about Sutton killing Sam, my mind and body fills with detached static. No, wait. That’s not entirely true. I think I do feel a sense of…relief? Yes, it’s definitely a sense of relief. Is that wrong of me? Does that make me a bad person? Will I be going to hell because I don’t hate Sutton for killing him?Maybe.But then again, I prayed for help and God heard me. He sent Sutton to save me. He acted as my guardian angel.
Although God protected me, I should still be worried about the ramifications. Right? I mean, wedidleave the scene of a crime. Not just a crime, amurder.I should be freaking out, butSutton said not to worry. He swears he has everything under control. I don’t know what that means, but Mama’s voice echoes in my head about the family'sappetites.Do they have the money to get away with something like this? Have they gotten away with something like this before? Probably, but I don’t have the energy to dwell on that right now.
If the authorities do come knocking, I’m positive they will side with his actions. It was in the heat of the moment; he was protecting me. At the very least, Sam was going to rape me. At the most? I shudder to think. As gross and twisted as it sounds, I can make peace with what he has done. While Sam was like a brother to me, I am grateful that Sutton saved me.
God, that’s sick. How can I be thankful for my future husband killing my best friend? Even if God ordained it, I am a twisted, wicked woman for feeling grateful. I am a vile, hideous creature. I will surely be going to hell.
In my moment of self-hatred, I realize that after being numb for hours, I’m starting to feel again. My shock must be wearing off, I’m no longer a paralyzed doll. As if I’ve flipped a light switch, my mental awareness causes my body to respond violently. Unable to regulate myself, I tremble from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. I grow clammy and feverish, sweat beads along my hairline. My heart races as if I’m running a marathon, panic takes up root in my queasy stomach.
Spurned by my violent physical reactions, my rawemotions follow suit. What starts as a trickle, soon turns into a massive flood. Everything hits me all at once, leaving me gasping for air. While I feel a myriad of conflicting emotions, there’s one that fills me completely.Anger.There is so much molten anger bubbling beneath my skin. It reminds me of the second undeniable fact.
Sutton has cheated on me.
I repeat this phrase over and over in my mind. Each time, it becomes louder and louder until I can no longer keep it contained. Before I can measure myself, it comes tumbling from my mouth in a seething hiss.
