I am freaking out.Really freaking out.Holy hell,whatam I doing?
I stare at Sutton as he guides me through what is arguably the largest home I’ve ever been in. Pointing to different areas of each room as we move through them, his face lights up in excitement. I don’t think I’ve seen him quite this animated before, he’s usually so controlled. His lips move as he speaks, but I can’t make out what he’s saying for the life of me. His words are muffled, like he’s underwater. Not being able to understand him only heightens the anxiety building in my bones.
Nodding my head politely, I agree with whatever ideas he is presenting. He could be telling me right now that he’s about to kill me and sell my organs on the black market and I would be none the wiser.
Time slows to a dizzying pace, my heart rate continues to climb no matter how hard I try to calm myself. I can feel my cheeks prickle with the heat of a flush as we make our way to thekitchen. True blue panic takes root in my brain, causing my hands to shake like I’m a ninety-year-old woman.
I swear I’m about to pass out.
Noticing my physical distress, Sutton’s gaze falls to my hand before moving to my face. Concern passes over his features, causing lines to crease the corners of his eyes. He asks me a question that I don’t hear but instinctively understand. He wants to know what’s wrong with me. I wish I had a good answer for him, I was fine five minutes ago. Now I feel like my heart is going to explode.
“This is too much, isn’t this all too much?” I feel myself asking.
Shaking his head, he gives me the sinful smirk that I adore. His charged demeanor settles; he becomes the cool and collected Sutton that I wholeheartedly trust. Giving my hand a gentle squeeze, he leans in to kiss my forehead. The tender show of affection calms me just enough to stop the ringing in my ears, allowing me to understand him once again.
“Princess,” he begins, his voice deep and warm. “Breathe. Breathe for me.”
Following his command, I practice the breathing exercise he talks me through every morning before we get out of bed, and every night before we fall asleep. Inhaling through my nose, I hold my breath for five seconds before slowly exhaling through my mouth. Locking his eyes with mine, he goes through themotions with me. After the sixth breath, I visibly relax. He gives me a pleased grin, knowing he’s worked his magic on me.
“Now let’s try again. What’s wrong, Dolly?” he asks.
Swallowing hard, I shift my weight from one foot to the other. He patiently waits as I gather my thoughts to give him a coherent answer.
“Sutton…we haven’t even known each other in person for a full week and you want to buy me a nearlythree-million-dollarhome. Don’t you think that’s a little crazy?”
Nodding his head, a low chuckle bubbles from his throat.
“Oh, I do. It’s insane. But here’s the thing,I don’t carethat it’s insane. I don’t care that it’s irresponsible,” he says, bringing my hand to place over his heart. “You have made this heart of minewantto keep beating. There is a certainty with you that I’ve never felt with anyone before. I want a life with you, and I will do whatever I have to do to make a life with you. Plain and simple.”
Dancing my gaze over his face, my belly fills with a million butterflies. This man is not shy about his feelings towards me; I’ve never had someone be so raw and honest. Sometimes I think he’s just a little too good to be true, but the love I feel for him turns off that tiny, pessimistic voice in the back of my head.
“I feel the same way…but aren’t you just alittlescared?” I ask.
Shaking his head, he lets go of my hand and moves to cup the side of my face. Swiping the pad of his thumb across my reddened cheek, he arches a dark brow.
“Not about creating a future with you, no. But let’s talk this through, Princess. Why are you scared?” he wonders.
Leaning into his touch, I let out a shaky breath. I know I need to be truthful with him, it does neither of us any good if I pretend that everything is perfect.
“A week ago, I had fifteen dollars in my checking account and didn’t know if I would have enough gas in my car to last me through the weekend. Now, I find myself living in a fantasy. I’ve had a nice vacation away from work, you’ve spoiled me with clothes and gifts…you want to buy this multi-million-dollar house for me! When do I wake up? When does this fantasy just…disappear?”
Pushing out a knowing sigh, he slowly nods his head. His other hand lifts to my face, he holds me steady as he locks his eyes to mine. There’s an intensity in his expression that turns me to jelly.
“It won’t, I promise you,” he says.
“I want to believe you, I really do,” I reply.
“Then believe me, Dolly!” he says, bringing his face closer to mine. “Look, I know this is a complete change for you, but you can still retain bits and pieces of your life. If you want to keep your job, then keep it. If you want to keep your car, that’sfine with me, I will have it fixed so it’s safe and reliable. You can still have your friends, you will still have your family. We can integrate everything from the life you had a week ago into our new life together. This…this isn’t black and white, my love. You have me, you willalwayshave me…nothing is going to disappear because this isn’t a fantasy, this is our life together. And it will only get better.”
Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I bite down to make sure that I’m not dreaming. His words flow over me like a comforting blanket; I feel his sincerity in every cell in my body. I know in my soul that he’s being truthful with me. It melts away all my lingering doubt.
“I do want to keep my job…for a while, at least,” I say.
Giving my cheeks one last caress, he lets his touch fall away. Once again taking my hand in his, he leads me through the breakfast nook.
“Good, I want you to! It will give you something to do while I’m at work. I don’t want to keep you locked away in this castle. I only ask that when I’m home, you’re home with me. Can you make that promise to me?”
Stepping into my dream kitchen, I pause before answering to take in the opulence of the room. Even completely barren, it’s insanely beautiful. Lined with custom white cabinets from floor to ceiling, a dark kitchen island draped in white marble spans fifteen feet in length in the center. An intricate tray ceilingpulls my attention to the three crystal chandeliers hanging above. It’s breathtaking, just like the rest of our new home. I can’t believe that I can have it all, I’m so relieved and elated. I’m getting my cake and eating it too.God,I’m the luckiest girl in the world.
