If only I had brought Amber back immediately, then things could be different. I would not have weak Asha living in my hut, and I could have courted someone properly, as the women demand.
I think back to Asha and her toiling. How her entire life now revolves around her weaves, which need not exist at all.
Everything about her infuriates me, from her soft voice to her smell—her scent that permeates everything.
I could smell her beneath the soap she used, an odor primal and heady that makes my head spin. I could hardly sleep, it was so powerful, and my mind went to places it should not have.
Fiona is stronger than most of the others, her copper hair a shade lighter than Araelya’s, making it look like pure sunlight in the morning.
But for some unknown reason, she does not interest me.
Again, my mind returns to the Little Vaeyark and her weaves. Her limbs thin, frail-looking; eyes, much too large for her head.
Despite her slight form, she saved our mission, for without her ability to navigate through the walls of The Tomb, we would have never been able to fix the terraformer.
And her tribe would still be out at the caves and on the shore, waiting for certain death to claim them.
Still, that does not make her strong.
After we have finished carving the bruntler, I rest on a log, watching the growing fire. Eddard sits next to me.
“How does it feel to be back?”
I suck in a breath, remembering how Asha called me emotional.
Eddard throws a leaf into the fire. “I know you mislike having Asha in your hut, but she is doing good for her people.”
I snort derisively.
“With the bruntler’s meat, we should have food for days. Mayhap we can build a workspace for her, so she no longer has to stay in your hut?”
A flicker of rage burns in my chest, though I do not know why it should.
“It would be a good lesson for the women that desire to build their own spaces.”
“She is fine where she is,” I snap, knowing it would displease Grixis, and for good reason.
I may mislike being made an example to the tribes, but if we are to truly join, everyone must see that even the most outspoken against the Penticari, me, is capable of working with them.
And I owe it to them for their help with the terraformer.
He gives me a look that nearly makes me bark, but before I can say anything, Fiona hands me a leaf full of meat.
“I heard Amber giving you trouble yesterday,” Elric says to Gaerth.
“She thinks she is too good to tan the hides,” Gaerth grumbles.
Elric smirks. “Whoever courts her is going to have their hands full.”
Caen, who does not hide his disdain for the Penticari women, snorts derisively. “I thought that would be you, and that she would come back from her walk around the island with a round belly.”
All eyes train on me, expecting me to elaborate.
I frown, refusing to let them know I had wanted that too.
My mind wanders back to a time I try to forget. When my honor was intact and I held the Great Princess Kasmina’s attention.
My entire life, I thought myself better, looking down on the men raised in the barracks for when you are born to a queen, the rules do not apply to you.
