He sat in his chair and I took the couch. “I panicked and fucked up.”
He nodded slowly, thoughtfully. “And how are you going to fix it?”
Blowing out a breath, I said, “I don’t know. That’s why I’m here.”
“Well, you better tell me the whole story, so we can figure it out.” He stood and headed toward the kitchen. “I think we’re going to need a couple of beers for this.”
After he returned and handed me a bottle, I went over all of it. I skated over the sex, but judging by the way he was glaring at me, he’d put two and two together. The man wasn’t stupid. By the time I’d finished, he was up and pacing.
“You’re my grandson and I love you, but I can’t remember wanting to punch a man this much. Not for a long time.”
“Feel free to take a shot. If I could, I’d punch myself.”
“On one hand, I want to help you get your girl. On the other, I want to protect her from you.” He studied me. “I guess it depends on who I’m looking at. Are you the Aiden who took a slap from a mean old woman to protect another kid, or are you the Aiden who led Katie on and then dumped her?”
I sat, elbows on knees, my head in my hands. “I don’t know. I want to be the first, but I’m afraid I’m the second. I love her, Pops. I want to be someone she can rely on. Someone she could love.”
“And how are you going to prove to her that you’re worth taking another chance on?”
I dropped back, sprawling on the couch. “Why do you think I’m here, old man? You’re the expert. What should I do?”
Smiling, he sat down. “I am, aren’t I? It’s about time you realized it.”
“Well?”
“Well, what? This is your mess. You figure it out.” He got back up, went to the door, and opened it. “If you love her, then you’ll know what she needs. It’s not a question of how you can get her to love you. You need to decide what you can do to love her.” He opened the door. “And you need to do that on your own.”
I scrubbed my hands over my face. “You’re right.” I stood. “Thanks for listening. And for the kick in the butt.” I walked past him and stopped on the porch. “‘What she needs.’ I’ll work on that.”
Chapter Thirty-Five
Kate
The clothes I'd kicked off in the middle of the night lay on the floor. The pillow was still damp with tears, but it was a new day, the beginning of a new life, one I was going to embrace. I had my own house. Thank you, Gran. I was going to open a restaurant. Thank you, Connor. I had access to a handyman with an unlimited supply of kisses and inappropriate butt grabbing. Thank you, Bear. I had a full woodpile. Go to Hell, Aiden.
When I took Chaucer downstairs for breakfast, I found a letter taped to the pantry door. Points to Aiden for knowing the first place I’d go, but again with the breaking and entering? I was getting his ass arrested. And I wanted my key back, freaking pushy cop.
I fed Chaucer and then let him out, all the while staring at the envelope with my name in Aiden’s handwriting as though it were a rabid snake.
After a cup of coffee and a piece of toast that I couldn’t choke down, I womaned up and tore the letter off the pantry door. I swore that, if he made me feel like crap again, I was telling his grandpa on him.
Dearest Katie,
I can’t begin to apologize for how I’ve treated you. I was so sure, you see. So sure I was right. I think, looking back, I felt wronged—through no wrongdoing on your part. I’ve been in love with you since I was five years old. You were the one all girls and then women were compared to and found wanting. You’re gorgeous, but that’s not it. Well, not all of it. You’re funny and strong. You’re kind and so smart. Every woman has paled in comparison. As a kid, I waited for summer like it was my birthday, Halloween, and Christmas all rolled up together. Summer meant you.
But then you stopped visiting, and all the light and color in my life drained away. I waited for you, assuming you’d be back, that it was just an off year. I spent that first summer planning what I would say or do to get your attention, so sure that the next summer you’d be back. But you weren’t. I felt abandoned. I know that’s stupid, but it’s how I felt.
Alice used to complain that she didn’t think I was fully committed to her. After she took off, I assumed that was how she justified leaving me for another man, but maybe she was right. I’d lost my heart to Katie Gallagher a long time ago.
Even now, after I’ve hurt and betrayed you, I can’t stop thinking about you. Working, driving, sleeping, eating; it doesn’t matter what I’m doing, thoughts of you bombard me, my hands on your soft, freckled skin, your flame-colored hair fanned across my chest, your kiss-swollen lips, your giggles and moans...
I’ve been a COMPLETE ass. I’m sorry for every time I mocked and doubted you, every time I left you to fend for yourself with no food or money. Honestly, I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I’m counting on you being an infinitely better person than me and hoping you’ll take pity on my lovesick ass.
And I do love you, Katie. Make no mistake. You stole my heart early, and it’s been yours ever since. If you can give me another chance, I’ll spend my life grateful that such a kind, funny, strong, and glowing woman allows me to worship at her feet. And cupcakes! I promise a lifetime supply of cupcakes. And dog treats. What I’m saying is, name your price.
Love,
Aiden
