Last night, he arranged a surprise birthday gathering for Eduardo from the B-Team.Definitely a first for us.But Eduardo was full of so much gratitude he teared up, then got mercilessly teased.But everyone had a blast.
Now it’s morning, and I’m waking up with a mild hangover, an empty bed and an inexplicable pit in my stomach.Not sure what it is, but something feels off.
I stumble out of bed, freshen up, and head downstairs.Halfway down, I pause, catching the low rumble of Stefano’s voice.Something about his tone makes me linger there, listening.His words are too muffled to make out, but my father’s name is unmistakable.
By the time I make it down to the kitchen, Stefano is hunched over his coffee, his phone face-down on the table.The hard set of his jaw and the shadow clouding his face turns the pit in my stomach to bile.
Moseying to the coffee station, I ask with feigned nonchalance, “Who were you talking to just now?”
“Pavlov.”
As a cocktail of inexpressible emotions unfurls in my chest, I pour myself a cup of black, then take a slow sip before turning around.“So, what, are you two buddies now or something?”
He sits back and sweeps his gaze down the length of me.“You’re a dream.”His expression shifts, a shadow of something indiscernible flitting across his features as he gestures to the chair across from him.“Come sit.We need to talk.”
That tone.The apology in his eyes.It’s enough to cue me in.He’s ready to tell me about the deal.
And it’s clearly nothing good.
I don’t want to hear it.I want to dawdle in our bubble a little longer.“I think I’ll stand.”
Stefano tips his head, observing me.
I hate and love andhatewhen he looks at me like that.Like he knows me.Like he sees all the hidden parts of me that no one else can.
“Don’t do that,” he chides.
“Don’t do what?”
“Don’t start numbing because you’re afraid of what I’m going to say.”
“Fuck you.”Screw him.“You don’t know me as well as you think you do, Stefano.”
To that, he simply replies, “I love you.”
I love you a million times more.I love you to irrationality and insanity.
A part of me already knows I’m going to resent him for whatever he’s about to reveal, so I don’t return the sentiment.Instead, I clutch my coffee mug with both hands like it’s a lifeline and sip slowly, giving him nothing.
He exhales a resigned sigh, his fingers drumming on the table with a rhythm of inevitability.“I had an agreement with JB.Not Pavlov.”
Daggered.That’s how I feel right now.Stabbed from the back, straight through the heart.
“My mom?”The words scrape out of me, hoarse and cracked.“You made a deal with…my mom?”
He’s stolid now, blank.“I did.”
“When?How?She’s seven months pregnant and on bed rest.She hasn’t been—”
“I woke up in the middle of the night and she was just…there.In the room.”
Yep, that’s her style all right.
“What did she offer you?What did you trade me for?”I hate the weak, pathetic shake in my voice.Hateit, but can’t control it.“What’s worth more than me, Stefano?”
I know…I justknowthis is the end of us.It was too good to be true.As long as my mother is in control, happiness will only ever be an illusion for me.
Stefano’s eyes harden, jaw clenched.“You really don’t believe I love you, do you?”
