“Is everything okay, my daughter?” he asks with a frown.
“All good,” I say, chipper. “I took the day off from work. Just popping in.”
“Your sisters could use some help in the kitchen,” he sings.
I laugh. His dream is to have me back at Saxena’s. “Of course.”
In the back, Mom and my sisters are so busy they barely have time to acknowledge me. I’d almost forgotten what it’s like working at Saxena’s. Rush, chaos, and adrenaline. A stark contrast in comparison to the chill, focused atmosphere at Cookie’s Treat. Here, the demand is great. Cheap, delicious food in copious amounts. Here, we feed for sustenance and vitality. Whereas Cookies’ Treat is an indulgence, atreat. There, we serve art.
But maybe this is what I need right now. Maybe a bit of adrenaline and pressure will bitch-slap some sense into me.
With that in mind, I grab an apron and get to work.
~
I took a leave of absence from work, from my dream job. It was an extremely tough decision to make, but it’s become difficult seeing Onyx, whether it’s for five seconds or five minutes. He became an even bigger flirt with the girls than before we dated, and it was hard to watch.
I love him, from my very core, but I just don’t know how to be with him. My love is timid and weak. It has no teeth or claws, doesn’t know how to fight or puncture. Like a frightened cat, it presses itself into the darkened corner, watchingreallove slip away.
Much to Dad’s delight, I’ve been spending my days in Saxena’s kitchen. The hustle and bustle of never-dwindling orders keeps my mind occupied. When I get home at night, I put on Onyx’s left-behind clothes, curl up in bed, and feel sorry for myself.
In the two weeks since I’ve been on leave, I’ve only seen him once. No, glimpsed him. As he zipped by on his Harley, I wanted to chase him down the middle of Market Street and beg him to fight for me.
I think about what he said Calvin told him about me being toxic, and wondered if they made up, apologized for almost letting a bitch like me come between them. And it makes me sad.
I didn’t hurt either of them on purpose. I loved Calvin. I’m in love with Onyx.
I didn’t mean to hurt them.
I didn’t…
The next time I see Onyx is during girls’ night out. Kim wanted to see some folksy indie band play at a dive bar in Five Points, so that’s where we are. Not mine or Mira’s jam, but we all get turns to pick the entertainment location for each girls’ night out, and it was Kim’s turn this time around.
I’m two sambuca shots in and munching greasy French fries, watching Lissa and Kim bob their heads off with the small crowd at the front of the stage when Mira, who’s drunkenly slouched against my shoulder in the chair next to mine, nudges me with her elbow. “Sis, look, it’s Freckle Face,” she drawls. “Looks like he’s moved on. Damn, that was fast.”
I jerk my head around so fast I’m surprised my neck doesn’t snap. “What?”
She replies but I hear nothing over the blood rushing in my ears. Because he’s here. With someone else. And, of course, she’s sickeningly beautiful. Not like he’d rebound with someone with a horse face. My heart feels like it’s being pricked with a million needles.
His hand curves around her tiny waist as he guides her through the bar to a table. I can’t believe he’s moved on already. It’s barely been month!
Kyor had asked me how I’d feel if I saw him out with someone else, and now I know. Fucking homicidal.That’show I feel.
“Does this mean you two aredonedone?” Mira is asking me.
I’ve not spoken to anyone besides Kyor about our breakup. But it turns out Preeti overheard us through her bedroom window the night Onyx showed up at my apartment. And once Preeti knows something, the entire family knows, too. They’ve been trying to get me to talk about it for weeks now, but I’ve given them nothing.
“She’s ugly,” I lie, and Mira cackles.
I’m unable to focus on much else after that. Not withthemover in the nook of the bar laughing and making fuck-me eyes at each other. Pia, who? I’m chaff in the wind now.
I order another round of sambuca shots and take it with the flames this time, welcoming the blazing burn in my chest. Is he even aware that I’m here? Heck, is he aware thatanyone’shere? He’s all eyes for his new flame. Hasn’t look my way once.
I’ve always been jealous of men and how effortless it is for them to just brush off a breakup and move on. True, I’m always the heartbreaker in relationships, but I hurt far more—both for myself and for hurting someone else.
“You want to get out of here?” Mira asks, concern lacing her voice. Whatever I look like right now, it must be disconcerting enough for my sister to realize I’m not okay.
“I think that’s best,” I say, glancing over at the loving couple again, just in time to see Rebound Girl stand up and start in the direction of the restroom. “Let me just make a quick bathroom run first. Be right back,” I tell Mira.
