Pushing back my chair, too, I stood. “Why are you being such a girl about this whole fuck and feelings and feelings going with fuck and no fuck without feelings thing?” I asked. “Fuck feelings.”
Every bit of easiness left his face, his jaw tightening, but he didn’t respond. He just walked away, giving me the opportunity to see the tat on his back. It was indeed a dragon. A massive dragon, artistically vivid, wings spreading over the upper half of his back, the beast’s head breathing hellacious fire over the right shoulder. Its thick, long tail running down Chad’s spine and disappearing around his side. The expressive ink creature was as scary and intense as the man himself.
When he was a distance off down the hall to his bedroom, he threw over his shoulder, “Have a nice night, Blood.”
Obviously, he was in a shitty mood, so I didn’t bother chasing him. After finger-fucking me in the elevator this morning, he’d dropped something close to a promise for more later, which had me anticipating his return. His attitude now made no sense.
Something must have happened on the road. That shiner on his cheekbone said it all.
Resigning to the idea that he just needed some rest and time to himself, I trudged to the kitchen and helped myself to dinner, then ate in front of the television in the living area while watchingNCISreruns.
I was doing everything in my power to keep my mind off the inevitable bad shit that would be hitting the fan anytime soon. See, The Voice phoned me once a week for updates. And now that Chad had burned out my apartment and everything in it, when The Voice made his call for the week and didn’t get me, then sees nothing on the news about my death, he was going to think I ran. And he was going to come looking. And was going to find me.
He always found me.
Bad shit happened. Terror was coming. But being where Chad was made me think that all was right with the world. I guess I was using him as my shield, looking to him to keep me safe. Which was the stupidest thing I could ever make the mistake of doing. Because the last time I trusted him, he’d ordered his lackeys to duct tape me and lock me in a room while he murdered the rest of my family in cold blood.
Evidently, I hadn’t learned a damn thing, because there I was trusting, believing and…loving…Oh God…lovinghim all over again.
And then I knew, right there on his couch while watchingNCIS,tears welling in my eyes, I knew what this was. The reason I lost my head around him. All the feelings and emotions and weakness, was becauseI still loved him. The reason why I subconsciously botched every attempt to kill him. It was all because I didn’t hate him, and I didn’t want him dead. I wanted to make myself forgive him, believe there was good in him, trust him, and love him again.
And I succeeded in that, but failed everything else.
This, all of this, was wrong. Asinine.
Loving all wrong. I was loving all wrong.
Appetite lost, I switched off the television and went to put my dish in the sink. Using the back of my hand to dry my stupid, dramatic tears, I dragged my ass down the hall to my bedroom.
Chad’s bedroom door was left ajar and I could see the TV light flashing through the darkness, but I didn’t even bother, I just pushed into my own room and closed the door.
Switching on the lights, I was caught off guard by the sight of the woman sleeping on my bed, automatically reaching for a non-existent gun at my waist.
Nadia.
In a tight red dress and red heels, it seemed as if she’d been waiting for me and fell asleep.
The hell?
Snaking quietly over to the bed, I fixed one knee over her slim torso to half-straddle her, keeping my other foot planted to the ground, then wrapped my fingers around her long, gracious neck and began strangling the life out of her.
Nadia’s eyes popped open like a blinking baby doll, her hands slapping at my wrist as she fought desperately to breathe.
“How the fuck did you get in here?”
With a deep wheeze, she squeezed out, “M-M-Mr. Niiveux.”
“What?” Her response threw me.
She repeated her answer, and I released her, then waited for her lungs to start functioning again before asking, “Why?”
“To be with you.” Nadia sat up and rubbed her throat. “Something about you choosing to be with me?”
Ah, Nadia was my call-girl.
“How long have you been here?”
“He picked me up hours ago and brought me here. Told me not to leave the room. I’ve been waiting for a while.” She looked down at herself, and then the bed. “Guess I got bored and fell asleep.”
