The cardiac monitor showed asystole—flatline. I pressed the ultrasound probe to his chest. No cardiac activity.Just like when Charlie coded.My hands shook.
“Second round epi going in,” the nurse called out.
Thirty minutes later, after fifteen rounds of CPR—some I performed less than gracefully with a protruding belly before Toby took over again—I called it. “Time of death, 20:47.”
The room cleared out, leaving me alone with the body. The metallic smell of blood mixed with the sharp scent of antiseptic. My stomach lurched.
I barely made it to the staff bathroom before emptying my dinner into the toilet. My knees hit the cold tile as another wave of nausea hit. Tears streamed down my face.Get it together. You’re a doctor. This isn’t your first death.
But it wasn’t just about the patient. It was Chase on that table. Chase’s blood on my hands. Chase’s life slipping away while I fought to save him. The walls of the bathroom stall seemed to close in. My chest tightened as I struggled to breathe.
The bathroom door creaked open. “Elena?” Pauline’s voice. She was my chief of emergency medicine, and the last person who needed to see me losing my shit after losing a patient. “Are you okay?”
I wiped my mouth with toilet paper, trying to steady my breathing. “I’m fine.”
“Bullshit.” The stall door pushed open—I’d forgotten to lock it. Pauline crouched beside me, her hand warm on my back. “I remember what it was like being pregnant in the ER. Everything hits different.”
“It’s not—” I started to protest, but another wave of nausea cut me off.
“Go home,” she said firmly. “I’ll cover the rest of your shift.”
“But the cardiac patient?—”
“I’ve got it.” Pauline helped me to my feet. “Being pregnant doesn’t make you weak, Elena. But itdoesrequire knowing when to take care of yourself.”
I gripped the sink, splashing cold water on my face. In the mirror, my reflection looked pale and haunted. The baby shifted inside me, a flutter like butterfly wings. A reminder of how important itwasto take care of myself. This baby was a part of me, no matter the answer to Chase’s question.
I made my way to the locker room, which was mercifully empty, sank onto the metal bench, and fished my phone from my pocket. The Everton family group chat always came first—a habit I couldn’t seem to break, even now.Especiallynow.
EMMA
Has anyone seen Chase?
He was supposed to be headed to Ashford for a meeting, but he’s been gone for hours. His phone is going straight to voicemail.
Oh no.
NATALIE
Not me. Sorry.
KAI
At Callaghan’s
CHARLIE
Babe, you’re at Callaghan’s? Or Chase is?
JASPER
Yeah, man… you gotta use more than two words
KAI
Chase is at Callaghan’s
Nonononono.
