I kiss the top of her head. “Tell me you’re mine.”
“I’m yours,” she whispers. “When do you have to leave?” she hesitantly asks.
“Early. We have a decent drive to get there.”
She rolls over and props her chin up on her hands. “Promise me you’ll be safe. Don’t take any unnecessary risks.”
I can see concern and a little bit of fear in her eyes. I need to tread lightly. With losing her mom, I know she’ll be extra sensitive about the danger I’m in every time I ride.
I nod my head. “I promise.” And I mean it.
I’ve always tried to turn out the eliminator bulls that are dirty hard to ride and try to kill you. It’s hard enough not to get run over by the mean ones. When you make a living with your body, getting hurt can cost you your income for months. Or end your career. Those types of bulls just aren’t worth it to me. I also try to get off away from the bulls and land on my feet. That’s the key to staying healthy in this game.
I smile and look into her green eyes and give her a little wink. I can see the worry start to leave her face.
She nods, satisfied at my answer, and lays her head back on my chest. I run my hand through her hair as she wraps her arms around me and falls asleep.
Two hours later, I slide out of her hold as gently as I can, trying not to wake her. She has to work today and has maybe gotten three hours of sleep. I stand next to the bed, watching her sleep for another minute before leaning down and planting one last kiss on her forehead.
“Bye, sweetheart. I’ll see you in Estes.”
It takes every ounce of my love for bull riding to get me out that door. I know I’d be miserable if I wasn’t riding, but it’s crushing me to leave her behind. I’ve heard some of the married riders talk about how hard it is to leave home and even known them to turn out of a rodeo and fly home for a few days. I never understood it, until now.
I’ve never struggled with addiction—never needed a vice to get by. But now, I finally understand what it means to crave something, because Kacey has become my greatest obsession. The thought of losing her is unbearable.
I quietly get dressed and gather my things, trying to control the negative thoughts running through my head. The thoughts telling me she’ll get scared, she’ll be lonely, and she’ll end things before I even really get a chance with her. I have to trust she knows her own mind and she can do this.
When I get into the living area, I dig around until I find a pen and paper. This summer will be hard, but I refuse to let the past dictate the present—I’m not going down without a fight.
Chapter 30
Kacey
The space on the bed next to me is cold when I wake up. I knew he didn’t want to wake me, and we’ll FaceTime tonight, but I hate that I didn’t get to tell him goodbye.
We talked about the summer last night, made plans to FaceTime every other day and, at the very least, text every night after he rides. He explained how busy the summer gets, the amount of driving they have to do. I didn’t realize the number of miles and how many rodeos the top athletes compete in. He averages 50,000 miles a year and 150 rodeo performances. It’s no wonder it takes a toll on not just their bodies, but their relationships.
Knowing this, I love how passionate he is about his dream. Just listening to him talk about bull riding, you can hear how much he loves it. I want to be there for him and support him however I can. My fear last night stopped me from telling him that, so I’ll find ways to show him.
I’ll be counting down the days until Estes Park when I can see him again. I could see the fear in his eyes—fear that we won’t make it through the summer. And I know he could see the fear in mine for his safety. But I meant what I said last night—I’m his.
There is no one else.
Rolling out of bed, I can feel how sore I am. It’s a good sore though, it reminds me this is real. I’ve never been with someone who made me feel so alive. It was the best sex I’ve ever had.
I head for the bathroom to start going through my morning routine.
Seeing the passion and love on Knox’s face last night reminded me that’s how I used to feel about ranching. Ever since Chet was hired, and I wasn’t offered the foreman job, I’ve felt like I’m not good enough. I don’t take enough responsibility or help grow the ranch. It’s been weighing on my shoulders so much I think I’ve lost a little bit of my love for the ranch, but I want to get it back. I just don’t know how.
I head for the kitchen to start my coffee. When I round the island, I see a piece of folded paper leaning against my coffee maker with my name across the front. I smile. He knew I wouldn’t miss the note if he left it here. I never go without my morning coffee.
I unfold it and start to read.
Kacey,
I didn’t want to wake you, but we had to leave, or we wouldn’t make it to Vernal in time.
When I came to Colorado this spring, you were the last thing I thought I’d find. As soon as we met, I felt a connection like I have never felt before. And it only gets stronger and stronger every minute I spend with you. Not seeing you the last few weekswas tough, and now we’re going into a longer run of rodeos. But I now know if there’s a relationship that stands a chance of surviving a rodeo season, it’s ours. I can’t promise this summer will be easy, but I can promise I will do everything in my power to make this work and give us a real shot.
