She hadn’t even pulled the blanket up. She must’ve been waiting for me and passed out. Or maybe she was just that exhausted. Either way, I crossed the room slowly, careful not to make a sound. I grabbed the throw blanket that hung over the corner of the bed and eased it over her body, letting my eyes drag over her one last time.
I felt like a creeper just standing there, watching her breathe. But I couldn’t look away. Not until I sighed and wiped a hand down my face to reset myself once again. Walking around to the other side of the bed, I laid down on top of the covers, leaving what I hoped to be a few feet between us. I told myself I wasn’t going to sleep. I’d just rest my eyes for a minute.
But the room was warm, and her scent was everywhere. And there was something else I couldn’t name yet but was already addicted to.
My eyes drifted shut without my consent. The day had been long, and our act had been unscripted. It was more than even the toughest side of me could bear. So I should have known that once I risked lying down, I wouldn’t be able to fight the sleep that took over.
Chapter Thirty-One
BLUE
I didn’t remember fallingasleep, but my eyes popped open when I heard what sounded like thunder. But when I turned, eyes still hazy from sleep, I saw him. West was lying on his back, an arm thrown over his head. He had redressed after his shower, putting on his suit pants and shirt. He hadn’t bothered buttoning the shirt that time, so it was spread open, revealing his full chest.
As my eyes adjusted more, I realized his body was twitching and his fingers were curled into fists. His jaw was clenched so tightly I could see the muscle jump beneath his skin and he looked restless, like he was trying to outrun something behind his closed eyes.
“No, don’t,” he muttered. The words were slurred but urgent. “Let me go.”
My heart stuttered. I sat up slowly, not wanting to startle him, not knowing if I should wake him or let him fight his demons in the dark.
But then he thrashed and his arm knocked into mine making me flinch on instinct before reaching out, fingertips brushing thedamp heat of his shoulder. His skin was cold and clammy, but he was sweating like he’d run ten miles through fire.
“If I stay, they’ll burn—,” he whispered.
That’s when my breath caught. Because this wasn’t just a dream. This was something deeper. Not monsters, or gunfire, or falling dreams. This was the sound of someone breaking from the inside out.
I leaned closer, brushing his hair back with shaking hands, whispering his name. He didn’t wake. Not fully. Just twisted his face toward my touch and choked on another breath like he was drowning.
“West?” I whispered. “Please wake up.”
I wanted to hold him. I wanted to shake him. I wanted to do something that could pull him out of whatever pit he’d slipped into. But I was scared, afraid that whatever decision I made would be the wrong one.
“West?” I cried, while the fear caused trembling in my fingers as I gently caressed his cheek.
His eyes snapped open.
Wild. Disoriented. Haunted.
“Hey,” I whispered, breathless. “It’s okay. It was just a dream. You’re safe.”
But he wasn’t looking at me like he believed that.
His chest heaved. His hands moved up to grab my wrist, holding it tight. It wasn’t rough, it was desperate. Like he needed to feel me, or he’d slip right back under.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, eyes locked on mine. “I didn’t mean to?—”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” He shook his head, about to argue with me, but I climbed over top of him, straddling his waist and holding his cheeks in my hands. “It's okay.”
His hands grabbed my waist and his gaze dropped to my mouth. Just for a second. But it was enough to make the space between us catch fire.
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” His voice was low and rough, speaking like he knew that would happen. His hands still rested on my hips, warm and steady, but there was a tremble in his fingers he couldn’t hide. He spoke as if he knew. “I shouldn’t have let my guard down. That’s not who I am.”
“You were dreaming, West. You don’t have to apologize for something you couldn’t control.” I leaned in, resting my forehead against his and brushing his damp hair back. My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my throat.
His grip on my waist tightened for half a heartbeat, then loosened. And just when I thought he might pull away, he pulled me closer instead. “I’m always in control.”
“You don’t have to be. Not around me.”
“Especially around you,” he growled.
