Age 18, Summer After Graduation
I grab a chilled Coke out of the fridge and skip out the back door. Danny’s out here, too, but I don’t let that stop me from dropping down into the green plastic lawn chair. I pop the can open and lean back, pretending I don’t notice the bong sitting on the cracked concrete between us. He’s got a lot of balls to smoke in the middle of our yard.
I glance down at my worn-out plastic sandals and sigh.
It’s been a long fucking Saturday, working all day in the mall, dealing with rich girls from my high school. Every dollar I’ve made working through high school has gone to my college savings, but with my larger-than-expected scholarship, I’ll finally have a little room to breathe soon. New shoes are at the top of my list.
Jesse’s also been working nonstop—he even picked up a closing shift at the grocery store tonight. It sucks barely seeing him, but graduation is behind us, and now there are just a few short months of summer before we’re free.
I sigh again, but Danny doesn’t look up or acknowledge me. The buzzing of the cicadas fills the silence between us, and the stifling humidity is enough to make me not want to move. Inside isn’t much better. It’s been an awfully hot June, and there’s only so much ceiling fans and a few used AC window units can do.
“Fia’s still up.” I break the silence, sipping the sweet dark cola as I tilt my head up to the black sky. “She never listens to me anymore.”
Danny stretches his long legs out in front of him, his tennis shoes beaten to hell. Hecouldafford new ones if he didn’t spend so much on drugs. It makes zero sense to me.
“Whatever. She’s eleven, she can fend for herself,” he mumbles, lifting his eyebrows lazily at me. “We’re not her keepers.”
I pick at the broken plastic weaving in the chair beneath me. “When Nan’s working, she’s our responsibility. Not that you ever spend time with her.”
“What do you want me to do, play Barbies all afternoon?” he spits back, and I roll my eyes. My brother is an ass most days. It’s hard to believe I was born only four minutes before him. He’s more immature than our eleven-year-old sister.
“She’s going into sixth grade, she doesn’t play with dolls anymore.” I kick a rock near my feet. Danny doesn’t reply.
“Maybe you could justtryto be part of this family,” I say, sitting up and leaning toward him, exasperated.
It’s not fair that I had to grow up fast, and he gets to act like a child, doing nothing all day. Nan does the best she can to provide for us, plus Jesse. It’s not her fault our parents left us. Danny has had all the same opportunities I have; he just doesn’t see it that way.
He makes apshhnoise, kicking gravel, and slumps down deeper in the lawn chair till it looks like it’s consuming his slender body.
I knock his foot with mine,hard.“Maybe if you stopped getting stoned every goddamned hour, you’d wake up and see what’s around you.” An ache grows in my chest.
“Penny, give it a rest,” Danny grumbles.
I glare at him, my fingers tight around my sweating drink. “God forbid you have people that miss you, Danny,” I snap at him, sitting on the edge of my seat. “You’re my twin brother, I don’t understand what happened between us. This isn’t how it used to be.”
He studies me with red-rimmed eyes and smirks. “Come on, be real. You and Jesse don’t miss me.” He shakes his head, and I furrow my brow, a pit forming in my stomach, ready to defend what’s mine in secret.
“What the hell are you talking about? We ask you to hang out all the time.”
Danny leans forward, head in his hands. His messy dark-blond hair swoops over his eyes. “The moment he moved in, you two shut me out. You don’t need me, you have each other. Kinda shitty, you know, since he was my friend first,” he replies dryly.
“Wait, are you seriously jealous?” I raise my voice and scoff. “You’re the one who pulled away.”
“Whatever. I don’t know why you still bother trying,” he mumbles, and I stand, grabbing my drink.
The metal base of the chair scratches loudly on the concrete patio, and red-hot heat throbs in my head as I march toward the back door. With my hand on the doorknob, I turn over my shoulder at my brother, who’s not even looking at me anymore.
“Maybe because you, Jesse, and Fia are all that I have. We’re family, in case youforgot. And in less than ten weeks, I’m going to be leaving this town, and you’re going to be sitting here wasting away on drugs. One day, you’ll regret this, Danny.”
I don’t give him a chance to reply, not that his brain could even keep up. I let the back door slam loudly behind me.
36
Penny
NOW
The prison staff look over my papers again, which only makes me more nervous to see my brother. He’s in a minimum-security prison as of two years ago to finish out his sentence, but eventhisfeels like too much.
