Her cheeks flush a deep, rose pink, blooming down her neck. She dips her head like she can hide from me, but I won’t let her. I tip her chin back with a finger, and then I do it—scoop her into my arms. She gasps, instinctively clutching my shoulders, and it sends something deep and protective clawing up inside me. I’ve imagined this moment a hundred times.
Her hands are shaky, and mine aren’t much steadier, but I catch the glint of the silver condom wrapper I put on the nightstand earlier, and then I look at her again, making sure. Her eyes don’t waver.
She’s sure.
But when I trail kisses down her neck and press my body against hers, I feel the shift. Her breath catches, and when I pull back, her eyes glisten. A single tear spills out.
My chest tightens. “Hey.” I swipe my thumb over the tear, over her damp, parted lips. “What’s wrong, baby?” I hover over her, worry clawing at my throat.
“Nothing,” she whispers.
I trace circles over the soft dip of her collarbone, grounding her, grounding me. Her skin is warm beneath my fingertips. I’ve learned you can’t rush with Penny, she does everything in her own time.
My eyes flick back and forth as the silent beats seem to painfully stretch on.
“Promise me….” she whispers, biting her lip, and I lower myself another inch closer to her. “Promise me you’ll always be mine?”
Time fucking stops.
I smile—softly, not cocky, but the way only Penny draws out of me. I pull her close and cradle her head in my hands like she’s the most precious thing I’ve ever held.
“I promise,” I say. “What made you think of that?”
“It’s just…everything is about to change. I’ll be starting school in a few months, and you’ll be working, and we won’t live together and—”
“Hey, hey.” I interrupt her spiral, grabbing both her hands in mine, holding them tightly. Penny’s misty eyes find mine, and I wish I could just grab her heart and rewire her brain and make her understand I’m not ever going to stop loving her.
“I promise you, Penny Hanson, I’m yours. We’ve waited for so long to be together for real…and soon, we won’t have to hide it. Everythingwillchange, and it’s going to be perfect. It’s going to be just like we always planned.”
29
Penny
NOW
I’m halfway to the door, keys in hand, when my phone buzzes. One glance at the screen, and my stomach drops.
Fia:I forgot this evening was the employee Christmas party at work. Oops! I will be here until 8ish, and Kayden said he can give me a ride home!
My fingers hover over the screen. This means I have three more hours alone at home with Jesse. And just like that, my stomach twists again. Not in fear, but in that tight, fluttery way.
Penny:Ok, have fun! Uh who’s Kayden?
Oh my god, Iambeing a mom.
Fia:He owns Good Grounds.
That tells me nothing. But at least I don’t need to worry about her getting knocked up.
The sun’s nearly gone, casting long, amber shadows across the floorboards. I flick on the hallway light on my way to my bedroom. My feet are covered in ridiculous, fluffy Christmas socks Fia lent me, and the worn wood in the upstairs hallway creaks under each step.
But then I pause.
The door across the hall is cracked open—Jesse’s room. I stare at it, contemplating what I already know I’m going to do.
It’s been six days, and I haven’t once looked inside. Not even a peek. He and Tank are out on an evening walk, and curiosity gets the best of me.
I have to know how he lives.
