You know there’s no one else in the world I’d rather go to homecoming with than you, right? It’s killing me that we can’t go together like normal couples at school. I know we'll all be together as a friend group,but I need you to know, in my heart, it's just you Pen. Always just you.
It’s going to be torture not being able to dance with you, especially if they play our song. But if another guy tries to grind up on you, I can’t promise you I won’t knock them out. Not even sorry for that.
I can’t wait to see you in your pink dress. I’m not sure how I’ll hide my reaction from everyone, because you’re going to look so damn stunning, as always.
xo,
J
I always had a crush on Jesse, but I never meant to fall for him like that… It just happened. One day, he was my best friend—the one who always knew when something was wrong without me saying a word, and then suddenly, he was everywhere. In my yard, laughing with my brother. On the couch, eating cereal like he’d always lived here. And he did belong, which is what made this so impossible.
I couldn’t say anything. If Nan found out, Jesse would have to leave and go back to his awful family, or foster care. Somewhere away from me.Where I couldn't make sure he was safe.
So I kept quiet as long as I could. I pretended I didn’t get butterflies when he brushed up against me in the hallway, didn’t feel a pang of jealousy when he was partnered with other girls in biology.
But then came the beach day.
Maybe it was the hazy pink sky, or how it had been the best day ever with him and all our friends. Everyone else wandered off at one point, and it was just Jesse and me. We sat in the sand under the pier at Kure Beach, overlooking the waves, but I couldn’t take my eyes off his sun-kissed face.
“Jesse… I like you.” It slipped out small and shaky, and I instantly wished I could suck it back in.
Jesse froze for a second, and I thought I’d ruined everything. But then he turned an adorable shade of red and glanced over at me. Andwithout a word, he scooted closer in the sand and wrapped his arms around me like he’d been holding back all day.
“I like you, too, Pen…a lot.”
Now I turned bright red and hid my face behind my beach-tousled hair.
My heart was pounding so loud I almost didn’t hear him say, “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to kiss you, Penny Hanson.”
I looked up, and he leaned closer.
“Can I?” he asked.
I nodded with my heart in my throat, and Jesse pulled me closer, kissing me right there as the sun was setting. It was magic, pure fucking magic.
I still replay it in my head every night as I drift to sleep.
He’s better than the movies, he’s my real-life prince charming.
But no one knows about the kiss, or him being my boyfriend—which we established about three minutes after that kiss.
Even my best friends, Grace and Evie, don’t know because they can’t keep their mouths shut, and it would get back to Danny. I don’t think he’d tell Nan, but it would make things pretty awkward. And if Fia found out, we’d be totally screwed. Good thing my sister’s always in la-la land.
So for now, I keep my mouth shut and hope one day Nan forgives me for lying.
12
Jesse
NOW
Six hundred bucks. That’s what it costs to get the fireplace up and running again and ensure we don’t freeze our asses off. By the time I get back from walking Tank around the neighborhood, it’s already done its job, making the house warm. A vast improvement from two weeks ago, when Fia was stuffing ratty old towels under the doors to keep the draft out.
It pissed me off beyond belief that there was a guy roaming this town who knocked her up and hadn’t checked on her once this winter, knowing damn well she was here alone. Probably for the best now that I’m here, though, because if he did decide to show his pretty little face, I can’t guarantee her I won’t be taken away in handcuffs.
I settle into the house, noticing Penny has ditched the pink hoodie she had on before, so she can glare all she wants, but she’s not shivering. In fact, she’s moving around the dining table in nothing but a skin-tight workout top and barely-there yoga pants.
The way the thin fabric clings to her curves should be illegal, and when she catches me staring at her, she smiles knowingly—and then proceeds to flip me off.
