‘You’re going to have the most amazing time, love,’ she said brightly. ‘I promise. I know it must all feel super scary at the moment. But honestly, you’ll be so glad that you’ve done this.’
‘Mmm,’ he said.
He was nervous. She could tell. The minute Cameron started to become overwhelmed he would become quiet and monosyllabic. Mind you, she couldn’t blame him. Flying across the Atlantic on his own and spending the summer working with lots of American kids was no mean feat. The furthest he had travelled on his own was to the TRNSMT festival in Glasgow last year. Even then, he was with his two best friends, and the deal was that they could go as long as they stayed with her brother, John, who lived in the city centre.
When he had first started talking about the possibility of working abroad for the summer she had listened quietly, nodding and encouraging him to look into it, reassuring him that she would support him to spread his wings and go on this adventure.
Now that he was eighteen it was time for him to gain a bit more independence. He had left school, but wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to do next. This seemed the perfect solution togive him a bit of breathing space, to have some freedom so he could get a sense of who he wanted to be.
Little did he know that Kitty felt as though her world was being turned upside down again. As a single parent, she’d vowed she would never become a needy mum, relying on her son for everything, yet it took every single scrap of her willpower not to plead with him to stay at home forever and never leave her on her own.
Surely she should be relishing the thought of time alone, of having a tidy fire and fully stocked fridge. Honestly, that boy could inhale blocks of cheese and packets of bacon in seconds. She was on first-name terms with all the staff at the nearby Co-op because she was such a regular shopper. They even joked with her that she should get a job there — she’d seriously toyed with the idea, if just for the staff discount.
As soon as she waved Cameron goodbye at the departure gate, she would be on her own. For the first time in eighteen years she would be alone.
She always knew that this day would come, but she wasn’t sure she was ready for empty-nest syndrome. She was only forty-three. What would she do? Cameron had been her main focus for most of her adult life. Since he was a baby, it had just been him and her. And now it would just be her. Alone.
She could finally put herself first . . . The thought was absolutely terrifying.
Cameron sighed, drawing her back to the present, and she gulped back a sob. She needed to get through the next hour or so, then she could go home and weep and let the sheer sadness overwhelm her in private. She took a deep and steadying breath in.
‘I know it must feel daunting,’ she said gently. ‘But this is just the first step. It will all get easier.’
He shrugged and looked out the window. It was just after 4 a.m. and the sun was already rising. The journey to Inverness Airport from their home in Rosemarkie only took about half an hour. Cameron was catching an early flight to Amsterdam and then making a connection to New York City, where he would then head to his summer placement upstate.
Normally Kitty enjoyed the drive across the Kessock Bridge, which stretched over the Beauly Firth, but this morning it all felt very surreal.
‘I’ll be okay,’ he assured her. ‘I’m just tired. Not used to getting up this early.’
That was very true.
‘Will you be okay, Mum?’ he asked in a quiet voice.
She pleaded with herself not to crumple. ‘I’ll be just fine.’ She forced a jolly tone. ‘The house will be tidy for a change. I can watch what I want on telly, and I can eat what I want too. Think of all the egg sandwiches I can make without you moaning what a stink they’re making. In fact, I’m looking forward to it. It will be like being a teenager all over again.’
He chuckled. ‘You’ll miss me, though?’
Oh God, come on Kitty, she said to herself,you can lie through this.‘Not at all . . . well, maybe a wee tiny bit, but I’ll be having far too much fun. It’s not just you who’s going on an adventure.’
‘Well, I’m not sure how exciting spending the summer on a wet Scottish island will be . . . But, okay, if you say so.’
She raised an eyebrow. ‘I’ll have you know it’s got palm trees and a very nice climate.’
‘Whatever . . . But what will you do?’
‘I’ll find plenty to do. I’ll sleep in till noon like you do. Go for walks . . . do stuff like reading and pottering and maybe work on my Instagram account. You know, important stuff like that.’
‘Sounds riveting. Will you be okay on your own though? I mean, won’t you get bored?’
‘I’ll be just fine. I’ll see Fergus a few times, I’m sure. But I really don’t mind having some time on my own.’
‘And with the Instagram stuff, you know what you’re doing now with that? It’s all about the photographs.’
She laughed. ‘Yes, it’s all fine. Who knows, by the time you get back I might be a huge influencer or something. A Kardashian.’
He scoffed. ‘Oh, please no. Just remember what I said. Don’t overdo the live streaming. It’s not that cool.’
‘But what about the live cookery demonstrations?’
