‘You are very welcome. It issonice to see you Liz — Beth. Sorry, it will take me a while to get used to calling you that. You were always Elizabeth or Liz or Lizzie.’
Beth shrugged apologetically. ‘Beth just kind of stuck when I started working for various reasons. I was quickly told that Elizabeth or Liz Taylor would just be asking for trouble, and I would just be opening myself to all sorts of jokes. And also that I was no movie star either . . .’
‘Charming.’ Kirsty shook her head in disbelief.
‘I got used to that kind of comment.’ Beth watched as Kirsty poured the coffee.
‘Milk?’
‘Just a splash please.’
Kirsty looked at her. ‘What brought you back to Arran then? I’m obviously dying to know what you’re doing working here now. After all this time.’
Beth sighed. ‘I know, I agree it’s all quite random. And I had no idea you were still here either, Kirsty. I guess I didn’t really think too much about what I was doing when I applied for the job.’
Kirsty nodded encouragingly at her. ‘I actually lived in London for a while. That’s where Steve and I met and the kids were born.’
‘Really?’ Beth was surprised. ‘Where did you live?’
‘In south-east London, a place called Dulwich,’ said Kirsty.
‘I don’t believe that we were so close and we didn’t know . . .’
They both sat in silence for a few moments, revisiting their memories.
‘I needed a change from London . . .’ Beth took a gulp of coffee. ‘Life’s been a bit challenging for various reasons the past few years. I’ve been freelancing for a while now, and that all started to dry up just with everyone’s money getting squeezed . . . I saw the job advertised and just thought I would go for it. It was a complete leap of faith.’
Kirsty raised an eyebrow. ‘You know, sometimes these things happen for a reason. But I am impressed. I do think it was a brave move to make. And it’s so good to catch up after all this time.’
Chapter Twenty-Two
Beth didn’t feel brave at all. As she sat there at Kirsty’s kitchen table, she felt the absolute opposite. Her heart was practically still thudding from the shock of seeing Callum last night in the pub. She’d frozen when she’d made eye contact with him. If it hadn’t been for Alessandro steering her out the door, she would probably still be standing there, stuck to the spot, staring at him in disbelief. Yes, he might look older, but there was no doubt who it was. And from the way he looked at her she knew he recognised her too. The fact her heart had also started to race at the sight of him had put her into a spin. She’d thanked Alessandro for taking her out for the evening, trying to make polite conversation during the car journey home. She wanted to make sure it was clear that she was only interested in him as a friend. She was so glad when she got back to the safety and anonymity of her flat.
‘Listen, please don’t feel you need to tell me everything though. I know there’s a lot to catch up on.’
Kirsty’s voice brought Beth back to the here and now. She knew Kirsty was expecting some kind of explanation as to why she was there, and what had happened in her life over the past couple of decades. For a moment she desperately wished she could turn the clock back. She would hate Kirsty to think she deliberately cut her out of her life. Her hands felt clammy and she took another quick gulp of coffee. She wasn’t quite sure she could be too evasive with Kirsty. She’d always had a knack of cutting through any bullshit. But, thanks to her journalistic background, Beth was also very used to explaining stories in a series of soundbites. Glancing over at her she smiled. ‘How long have you got?’
Kirsty steepled her hands together and leaned forward. ‘As long as you need.’
‘Well, I’ll try and give you a potted version,’ she said. ‘I guess starting at the beginning is always a good idea.’ She crossed her feet under the table. ‘When I left here, it was all about the work. I threw myself into it and loved it. I started on newspapers and then moved into magazines. I was lucky enough to travel, I had a really nice lifestyle. Then things changed . . .’ She paused, hoping she wasn’t obviously skirting over it all too rapidly. ‘I had started to freelance by then, and work started to dry up with the way the industry was going. It all started to become a huge amount of effort for little income. I was ready for a change.’
Beth knew she was glossing over things but she wasn’t ready to go into the details with anyone, never mind Kirsty. ‘I needed a job and, when I saw the one that was being advertised here, I had a feeling I ought to apply. Especially as it meant I would be nearer to my dad. It does all feel like a full-circle moment, as though I’m supposed to be here.’ Beth looked around the room, her eyes resting on the large studio-style family photograph that hung on the wall. ‘And is this your family?’
Kirsty nodded. ‘Yes, that’s Becky and Tom, our twins, who are almost twenty. And my husband Steve.’
‘I can’t believe you have kids that age. I always knew you’d be a mum. And I bet you’re a great one too. You always were so patient.’
Kirsty smiled at her. ‘Ah, thanks. That’s kind of you to say. I’m not sure the kids would necessarily agree with you though.’ She giggled. ‘How about you? Did you ever settle down?’
Beth felt her stomach twist as she shook her head. The wordfamilywas unspoken but still hung in the air between them. ‘No, I didn’t really settle down for long with anyone . . . and I don’t have any children. I mean, if it had happened then that would have been great. But it wasn’t meant to be. My life was always about work.’ Her heart ached that she couldn’t just be honest with Kirsty, but she just couldn’t go there with anyone yet.
‘So, you didn’t ever marry or live with someone?’ asked Kirsty.
‘Nope, I didn’t marry. I had a few long-term relationships over the years, but there’s no partner now. Just me.’ She thought fleetingly of Tim. She’d gotten very used to being evasive over the years. It was easier to continue to be so.
‘Oh.’ Kirsty sounded surprised. ‘When I saw Beth Ferguson in the paper, I wrongly assumed that was your married name.’
Beth shook her head. ‘No . . . I never got married. But I decided that my boss was right about my name, Liz Taylor, causing problems, so I just used Beth Ferguson for my by-line and it’s stuck ever since. Ferguson was my mum’s maiden name.’ She also didn’t want to add that it suited her to reinvent herself with a brand-new surname too, so she could start again and shake off the past and her broken heart when she had left Arran behind.
