“Saw him heading off to the barn. You know he always checks in on Junebug one more time before you go.”
“Thanks, Ozzie. Will be back for Ivy in a few minutes.”
“Take your time.”
I left Ozzie with a quick thanks and strode fast across the yard before I could change my mind.
By the time I hit the packed dirt path toward the stables, I was practically running. Each step churned up a little more guilt until it sat like a rock in my gut.
What kind of boyfriend doesn’t even ask how the man he loves is holding up?
I’d been so focused on the changes in my life—Heather leaving, the therapist switch, money, my mother—that I’d barely given him more than passing questions. Like he wasn’t carrying his weight of family drama and gossip. Like I wasn’t supposed to be his safe place too.
The barn doors stood half-open, warm light spilling out across the gravel. I ducked inside, chest heaving from the run. The scent of hay and horse and clean leather wrapped around me, grounding me for a second.
Matty stood in Junebug’s stall, brushing her flank with slow, steady strokes, murmuring something under his breath I couldn’t quite hear. His sleeves were rolled to the elbows, forearms dusted with fine bits of straw, his shirt clinging in all the right places.
I must’ve come in too fast because Junebug flicked an ear at me, and Matty startled, turning sharp until he sawme. The surprise on his face softened into a smile. “Hey. What’s?—”
I didn’t let him finish. I crossed the space in two strides, cupped his jaw, and kissed him like the world might end before I got another chance.
He made a muffled sound of surprise, but he kissed me back, lips warm and a little chapped.
I pulled back. “I’m sorry.”
Matty frowned. “Sorry for what?”
“All of it,” I blurted. “I know you’re way too good for me, and I’ve been a lousy boyfriend, and I just—” My voice cracked. I pressed my forehead to his, trying to get the words out before they dissolved into something pathetic. “I haven’t even checked in on you. All this time I’ve been selfish, wrapped up in my own shit, and I never stopped to think about how you were doing with… everything.”
“Hudson—”
“I mean it. The gossip, your family, Carter, your mom… I never even asked.”
He slipped the brush onto its hook and took my face in his hands, his thumbs warm against my jaw. “Hey. Slow down. Breathe.”
I did, mostly because he said it like he wouldn’t let me off the hook otherwise.
“I’m fine,” he said firmly. “Better than fine. You and Ivy… you’ve given me more love in the last few weeks than I thought I’d feel again. That’s not me being poetic. It’s the truth. You’ve helped me process things I didn’t think I could. You don’t have to carry guilt for not asking, Hudson. I would’ve told you if I needed to talk.”
The knot in my chest loosened a little, but it didn’t go away. “What about Carter? Do you… do you talk?”
Matty’s mouth tightened for a second, and he shook hishead. “I’ve tried. He doesn’t respond. But that’s been Carter for a while now, long before you showed up. I need to give him space. He’ll reach out when he’s ready.”
“I’m sorry,” I said again, quieter this time, like maybe if I said it soft enough it wouldn’t sound like I was breaking. “I wish things were different for your family.”
“Hmm, well, you’re my family now, and I don’t know about you, but things have been going great.”
He ended the last word on a high note as if questioning.
I nodded. “Without a doubt, being back with you has been the happiest moment in my life, and I know Ivy agrees because she still follows you around whenever she sees you.”
Matty chuckled. “She makes me feel like I’m on top of the world. You both do.”
I took his hands and squeezed them. “Just promise me something.”
“What?”
“I know you don’t talk a lot, but promise me you’ll come to me when and if things get too difficult for you to process on your own. I want to be there for you too.”
