“Sorry,” Simone says. “I didn’t mean to make you sad. Let’s talk about something else.”
I shake off the maudlin and smile at her. “Actually, I have some questions.”
Twenty
June
* * *
Simone grins. “Excellent. Ask me anything.”
“I get why it’s so attractive to submit to a Dom and let him do things for me. It’s like a giant weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I had no idea I had a submissive side until now. I’ve always had to take care of myself. When I was a child, I took care of my mother. I don’t remember when I started being an adult. I think I was four. When I lived with Pete, I did every-fucking thing.”
I jerk my gaze toward the door and cover my mouth as the word fucking slips out. Hopefully, Daddy isn’t listening.
Simone giggles and whispers, “I don’t think they heard.”
I laugh with her. “When did I start flinching just because I used a cuss word?”
“Probably when your Daddy warned you he would spank your bottom if you didn’t control your potty mouth,” she teases.
“Exactly. And that’s my question. I get the submission, the clothes, the pampering, and all that. But I can’t wrap my head around the spanking. Blade says most Littles intentionally misbehave in order to get spanked. That’s just… I don’t get it. Doesn’t it hurt?”
Simone turns a bit so she’s cross-legged and facing me. “Littles are all different. Most of them do enjoy being spanked. It’s part of the scene. It can be a primary part of age play. It’s often like a constant game of cat and mouse where you push your Daddy’s buttons, and then he threatens to discipline you until he takes you over his knees and swats your butt.”
I shiver. “Yeah, that’s what’s hard to understand.”
“And you might not like it. Some people don’t. It’s not for everyone. Especially if you’ve been struck in anger before. Did your husband hit you?” she asks gently.
“Yeah, but I don’t think anything about Blade makes me think of that. Blade is never mad. Not even a tiny bit.”
“That’s because he’s a good Daddy. Like I said, it’s more of a game. Some Littles like the chase. Some like the burning sensation on their bare skin. Some like the humiliation. You have to figure out what you like and don’t like. It’s trial and error. He’s not going to spank you if you don’t like it.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty much what he said.”
Simone leans forward. “I tend to taunt Camden. I’m not always well-behaved. I can’t begin to tell you how often I tried to provoke him for the past four years. I kind of feel bad about it now. I was only eighteen when I first walked into his classroom. Soon after that, I saw him at Surrender—the local club we belong to—and then I knew he was kinky. He never took the bait, though. He refused to break the university’s ethical codes.”
“So you weren’t with him until after you graduated?” I’m surprised. Four years is a long time.
She shakes her head. “Nope. Never. And even then, he put some distance between graduation and now. We only got together after I was attacked.”
I wince. “Shit. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. He beat himself up over it. Still does. It wasn’t his fault, of course. But he’d like to turn back the clock so I wouldn’t have been alone that night.”
I grab her hand. “That’s a lot of pressure. I was on my own when I was attacked, too. Sometimes we have to go out. We can’t always be protected.”
Simone lifts her brows. “If you think you’ll ever be unprotected again in this lifetime, you’re delusional. I hope you’re ready for overprotective because you’re about to see levels of overbearing Daddy you can’t begin to fathom. Daddies do not…” She glances toward the open door before whispering, “…fuck around with safety. I know from my Daddy that most of the men who work for Black Blade Protection are former military and Daddy Doms. It’s like they’re magnetically drawn to serve and protect.”
I draw in a deep breath. I know she’s right. I can already sense that from every man I’ve met on Daddy’s team. I also know they’re all working to make sure my ex can’t hurt me again. It scares me. I don’t want anything to happen to Blade. And I don’t trust Pete not to try some shit.
“Girls?”
I jerk my gaze toward the door to find both men hovering.
“Do you want to come get some lunch?” Daddy asks. “Or do you need more time to chat?”
I glance at Simone. “Lunch sounds good.” We’ve had a heavy enough conversation and a break sounds good.
