Fabian wasn’t stupid.
He knew Ryan’s back was still bothering him. It was possibly worse now than it had been at Christmas. He saw how Ryan was trying to hide it, with slow, careful movements and with transparent reasons not to do things. Fabian had no idea how he was able to play hockey in his condition.
Which was exactly what Fabian intended to find out by watching this game.
Ryan was out of town, playing against Philadelphia. Fabian was at the same sports bar he’d been at with Tarek last time, but tonight he was accompanied by Marcus.
“So, that’s your boyfriend,” Marcus said. He and Fabian were both watching the giant television screen, where Ryan had done something in front of the net that seemed to require many slow-motion replays.
“Yes,” Fabian said.
“That guy. On the television. Playing hockey. He’s your boyfriend.”
Fabian sighed. “Are we still not over this?”
“Just making sure.” Marcus grinned and took a sip of his gin and tonic.
The game had not been particularly interesting, except for the fact that Ryan seemed to be much more physically comfortable playing a very rough sport onskatesthan he was when Fabian watched him, for example, take a carton of milk out of the fridge.
Whenever Ryan wasn’t on the ice, Fabian and Marcus chatted. He hadn’t hung out with just Marcus in a while. Whenever Ryanwason the ice, Fabian watched him like a hawk.
“He looks healthy,” Marcus remarked. “I definitely wouldn’t guess he’s in pain.”
“It doesn’t make sense. I know he’s hiding it from me. I can see him wincing when he thinks I’m not watching when we’re together.”
“God, he’s huge,” Marcus sighed. “I’m so fucking jealous.”
“The pads make him look bigger,” Fabian said weakly.
It was weird, watching Ryan use his size to intimidate. There was a scuffle behind the net after the play stopped and Ryan was looming over a player on the opposing team. He couldn’t see Ryan’s face, but he could see the fear in the other player’s eyes, even as he bumped up against Ryan and yelled something at him.
“Are they going to fight?” Marcus asked. He seemed a little too excited about the idea.
God, Fabian hoped not. “I hate this,” he said.
“What? Ryan lying?”
“Yes. And him looking likethat.” He gestured toward the television, where the new camera angle showed Ryan glaring menacingly at his opponent. Fabian sighed. “And Ryan playing hockey, if I’m being honest.”
Marcus frowned at him. “Maybe you shouldn’t be dating a hockey player, then?”
Fabian watched as Ryan—thankfully—skated back to his bench instead of fighting. “He’s not just a hockey player.”
“But heisa hockey player.”
“Yes, I know that, thanks,” Fabian snapped. He sighed. “Sorry.”
“You can’t ask him to quit, Fabian. That’s not fair.”
“Iknow. And I would never do that except...” Marcus raised his eyebrows. Fabian looked at the table. “It’s not just that I hate hockey. Obviously I can’t ask Ryan to give up hockey because I don’t like it. I’m not that selfish. But I don’t think Ryan likes it either. I mean, he’s basicallytoldme that. And it’s destroying his body, and it makes him miserable. He’s so sweet and he deserves so much better than this.”
“Butheneeds to make that decision. Not you,” Marcus argued.
Fabian nodded. “I know. It’s just hard, seeing him in pain and not letting himself heal. It’s...scary.”
Marcus looked at him sympathetically. “You can tell him how you feel, but you need to be careful, okay? No ultimatums.”
“Of course not.” Fabian wondered if hecouldbring any of this up with Ryan.
