I’m fairly certain I’m in love with Worth.
It was the first time she’d allowed herself to think about her feelings since starting this entire affair. Three times she’d gone to him asking him to demonstrate an act fromThe Bloom of the Rose, all the while lying to him and herself. After the last episode, an erotic exploration of her breasts in which she’d climaxed from only the feel of his mouth on her nipple, Aurora came to the conclusion that shedidhave a wanton nature. At least when it came to Worth. Could she be wanton if she only wanted to experience that sort of pleasure with one man?
Aurora didn’t think so. Thus, her conclusion that she loved Worth.
“He’ll never love me back,” she whispered into the breeze. “He deplores the idea of marriage, vowing never to wed. He’s thirty. I think. Which I don’t think is ancient. And rakish, though I don’t believe him to be an immoral libertine.”
Aurora didn’t find Worth unsuitable, buthedid, for the reasons she’d just named.
Closing her eyes, she stretched out her fingers in the grass, thinking of Worth’s mouth on her own, his hands on her body, bringing about her pleasure with only the slightest touch. How simple it would be to simply corner her brother, Jordan, and relate to him that Worth had ruined her. Yes, she still had her virtue, but Aurora was far from innocent. Jordan would force Worth to wed her.
A tear slipped down her cheek.
Worth would never forgive her. Might even grow to detest the sight of her. She’d live her entire life with a man full of resentment, all directed at her.
“I want to wed for love,” she whispered.
Then she could not wed Worth or force him to wed her.
There was a reason he’d kept her at arm’s length and avoided Aurora as much as possible. Worth liked her a great deal. Desired her. But he didn’t love Aurora and never would.
And Auroradeservedto be loved. She wanted a family of her own. Worth couldn’t ever give her that.
The truth was a bitter pill to swallow.
“I won’t see him anymore. I will return the book. My virtue is still intact. I can make a good match, either with Grisham or Healey.” Falling in love with either man was impossible if she continued her relationship with Worth. Aurora believed in love. She was surrounded by it and refused to settle for anything less.
Aurora pressed a palm to the space above her heart, a choked sob coming from her lips. Worth could never be hers.
When Healey or Grisham called next, Aurora would be thrilled to see them. Her affections might be elsewhere, but each man deserved a fair chance to win her over. One day, Worth and her feelings for him would be nothing more than a wonderful memory. If she tried hard enough, Healy or Grisham could replace Worth in her affections. Aurora would need to encourage both of them, subtly, to steal a kiss. Now that she knew pleasure, it was important she find it again with someone who was not Charles Worthington.
Another sob left her.
“What a terrible, foolish mistake I’ve made.” Aurora turned and cried into the grass, hating what she had to do and knowing there was no other choice.
Chapter Fourteen
Charles jogged upthe steps to Lord Kenebruke’s London residence, intent upon the meeting he’d requested with the earl. Having viewed the textile mill, examined the the machinery and the operation personally, and made additional notes for Drew to review, it was time to restart the conversation with Kenebruke. Today was the first he’d had an opening on his calendar to speak to Kenebruke. Mr. Swift was making plans for an expansion of his ready-made clothing that would stretch over all of England. Drew had identified two more textile mills and an import company for Charles to assess. There was quite a bit of work to be done.
Business was also an excellent way to distract Charles from Aurora’s absence in his life.
Her visits had not resumed. At first, Charles assumed Ropely was merely following directions and turning Aurora away, but that wasn’t the case. Nor had Charles seen her at the two balls he’d attended earlier this week, both tedious affairs. He rode in Hyde Park, along the same path he’d found Aurora on that long ago day, but there was no sign of her. Charles did happen upon Patchahoo, Emerson’s solicitor, who informed him Lord and Lady Emerson had gone to Rivercrest, the earl’s country estate.
Only Lady Aurora and Miss Maplehurst remained in London. Which would have made visiting Charles that much easier had she wanted to see him. Which apparently, she did not.
“This is what I wanted. What I wished,” he uttered under his breath. “It’s for the best.”
He kept waiting to be pleased by the turn of events.
Kenebruke’s butler led him inside to the earl’s study, where Kenebruke awaited him. Alone, thankfully. Mr. Healey and his idiotic suggestions were not in evidence. The meeting might actually provide the desired results.
“Mr. Healey isn’t joining us today, my lord?” Charles said as he took a seat in a leather chair across from Kenebruke, and accepted a glass of brandy.
“No.” Kenebruke’s eyes twinkled. “Thomas had another appointment, one far more important than a dry discussion of textile mills. My nephew is courting a young lady. A rather lovely one. He’s quite smitten, I think.”
Good for Healey. If he’d found a woman to put up with his rather pompous behavior Charles was thrilled for him.
Kenebruke’s brows drew together. “I confess, Mr. Worthington. I’m surprised you don’t know, given your business partner is Andrew Sinclair.”
