“I don’t need someone to save me, Nollix.”
“I know.”
The bed dips just slightly, and I feel his warmth against me.
“Can I stay with you instead? Just stay here until you don’t need me to anymore?”
Just stay here until I don’t need him anymore.
If that doesn’t sound like something my mind would offer me, I don’t know what is.
An arm slips over my stomach. A palm presses me back against him, and I swear my body moves. I thread my fingers through his, his glowing skin casting light against mine in a strange way. He isn’t completely solid. I feel his warm skin beneath my touch, but it’s a transparent sort of form.
What a terrible trick this is.
“I want you to stay forever.” My chest aches just speaking. “But I know by morning you’ll be gone.”
During the night, when I’m alone, is when I’m weakest. Loneliness causes the worst to come out in me. Right now, when I’m shut away from the prying eyes of my father, I’m at my worst. I’ll fake my confidence throughout the day, but I can’t fake anything when I’m alone.
“I’ll stay as long as I can. I’ll stay forever if I can.”
I’ve had someone promise me forever before. I know from experience: forever never lasts.
Chapter Three
Merrick
Wind sweeps through the back patio, shaded by a large awning. Napkins rustle and threaten to be blown away if they have not been tucked under something of substance. A spoon clinks against glass as sugar is stirred into coffee.
“I don’t know how you drink that stuff.” I scrunch my nose.
“You get used to the taste.” Casimir lifts the cup to his lips, drinking quietly.
To our left, a door bangs shut. I cast a weary glance, only to see Theoden steering Zale away from us and out toward the lawn games set up out across the courtyard. His mind has likely been poisoned by Basilus about the repercussions of being in the company of the king’s bastard-born son. Casimir doesn’t seem to mind, though, as most of Queen Lairis’s sons are terrible twits. Save for the twins, of course.
As if on cue, Arius and Aeton follow. They pause in the doorway and exchange a quick silent glance. I have to wonder if they communicate telepathically or if they simply know each other well enough to have a quiet conversation with just their eyes as Casimir and I often do. Aeton regards us with a dip of his chin before striding off. Arius’s gaze flicks to me before it drags to Casimir for the briefest of seconds before he’s turning on his heels and jogging after his brother.
Casimir sighs and sets his coffee down, rattling the china.
“We could go play a game of Snake and Ball?” I suggest, even though I have not finished my glazed cranberry scone, and my tea is still hot. “Everyone else is taking advantage of such a beautiful day. Perhaps we should too.”
“I’d rather wallow in self-pity.” He shifts against his seat. The markings on his back have mostly healed now, though it’s clear they still bother him.
“I should be the one wallowing in my own self-pity,” I mumble.
“I’m sorry.” Another sigh. His hazel eyes shine with sorrow and a tenderness that is hard to find in our Court of Darkness. Strands of his mousey brown hair blow across his features for only a moment before he tucks them back behind his ear. “I’ll play if you really want.”
I hum, taking another bite of the scone. Bitter and sweet play together on my tastebuds, and I savor it while I slowly chew and consider the idea. My eyes scan the yards. Several of our brothers are racing and taunting each other over the lush, green grasses. A few ladies from court have come out to join them and cheer from the sidelines. Swiftly batted eyelashes and sweet coos of encouragement are accompanied by pretty dresses as they all try to stand out from one another.
Across the way, a cream-colored gown cinched at the waist with the skirts bustled to keep from getting caught is pressed by the wind against slender legs. Valentina’s curls have come unbound, her icy blonde hair cascading down her back while she chases her only son. Beau giggles as he’s swept up into her arms.
For a moment, I’m jealous. She touches him freely, openly, lovingly. Touches I could never get from her. I hate our titles all over again.
“No.” I return my attention to Casimir who looks out into the yard like he’s trying to find what I’d stared at so intently.
“Very well. I’d probably scare everyone off the lawn. I’m like a social pariah.”
“Nonsense.”
