Kicking my feet off the bed, the cold nips at my bare toes. My tongue races over my lips, his eyes following the little movement before he looks away to scan the room. It reminds me of the games we’d play at camp. Teasing games where one would silently push the other until we’d be forced to look away.
In just a few short steps, I’m right in front of him. The smell of smoke clings to his clothes, accompanied by the slightest hint of pine... and maybe something else. Spices?
“If you’re a trick sent from my father then this is very,verycruel.” My voice is rough even to my own ears. “And if you’re just part of my own imagination then I fear I might have madness just like him.” I swallow but reach a hand out to trace his translucent image.
His gaze flickers over my features. When my fingers meet his shoulders, his muscle tenses beneath my touch. “You’re not like him,” he whispers.
“You’re just saying what I want to hear.” I meld against his body until my lips are poised just against the column of his throat. Everywhere my body aligns with his ignites with a million little sparks. The glittering scar tingles against my lips as I place a slow kiss there. Like some kind of liquor, he tastes smokey. My tongue rolls across the tender flesh of his scar.
The moment my tongue meets his skin, his big palms grip onto my hips. The feel of his hands on my body makes me want to wrap myself around him, plead for him to be real, ask for whatever our relationship is becoming in these small moments to be true.
I keep my mouth busy, and he angles his neck perfectly for me. My teeth rake across his skin, and a low and rumbling groan shakes through him. It vibrates through me, too, all the way down to the pit of my stomach where little butterflies release into my bloodstream.
Now I feel foolish. Foolish for pretending. Foolish for kissing what isn’t even there.
Maybe I’m crazy. Or maybe these small moments of pretend are the only thing tying me to my sanity still.
“What are you doing, Vi?” His voice is nothing more than a rasping sound in my dimly lit room.
Another slow kiss is placed against his jawline. I could press my mouth against his right now if I wanted to.
He was a good kisser. Incredibly good.
I shift in his arms, keeping my face tilted against the curve of his shoulder.
“I’m doing what I always wanted to do but never had the nerve to do. I want to do all the things I should have done when I had the chance.” My hand pushes down the hard muscle of his abdomen, skimming lower and lower and lower. When my palm meets the thick bulge in his jeans, he jerks back from me.
An astounded smile kisses his lips.
“Shit. That’s not what I’m here for.” His warm body slips away from mine. He shoves space between us, and his hands push through his hair like he’s trying to push away the thoughts in his head. “Listen, I’m not... I’m not strong enough to say no right now. If you keep messing with me like this, I. Will. Fuck. You.” The glint in his eyes is a promising look that makes my heart race.
“What happened to you refusing to fuck me? What did you say, again? ‘Even if I begged’?” I take a small, daring step toward him.
His brows rise impossibly higher.
“I’m not cut out for this. Chivalry is not for me, but I’ve been trying very, very hard foryou. The Reveries apparently sent a weak man for this job.”
The Reveries? The Witches?
Nollix levels me with a look like he’s reconsidering every mistake he’s ever made. Finally, he steps forward, his palm pushes across my hip, and with a hard pull, I stumble against his chest. The warmth of his hidden magic caresses mine. His arms wrap around me, settling low on my back. My hands rest between us against his chest. For several long seconds, he only examines me.
“Are you okay, Violence?” The gentle tone of his voice is unlike anything I’ve ever heard him say.
“I’m not okay.” A whisper is all I have. My fingers push up his chest before lightly skimming over his jawline again. He leans into that small touch. “I don’t think I’ve ever been okay. Maybe none of us have.”
His lips part to speak, but I cut him off.
“But being not okay isn’t going to stop me.” Another day of injections passed, and I feel used and lost. But now that I see a pattern, tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow I have a plan. Tomorrow is a dangerous day indeed.
The length of his body settles against mine as he holds me closer to his chest.
“Where are you?” Dark blue eyes bore into mine.
“I don’t know. I feel like I’m nowhere. I feel like a fucking crazy person here.” It’s the truth. I fully believe my father is very capable of taking me somewhere that does not exist.
It seems he’s capable of taking my sanity as well.
Long fingers push through my messy hair, and he tilts my chin up toward him. I’m very aware of the meager amount of space that separates his lips from mine. My gaze notes it, and a smirk tilts his mouth as if he’s thinking the same thing. A tingling feeling has me shifting in his arms, but neither of us close that maddening space between us.
